Roll With the Changes
by dannylover934
Summary: Sometimes you just have to pick yourself up and move on. Look inside for more detailed summary. Janet/Eddie Rating has changed. Read beginning of chapter 8 for new warnings.
1. Prologue

Title: Rolling With the Changes

Disclaimer: All characters belong to ABC.

Summary and notes: This is a slow, long make-up between Eddie and Janet. Infidelity takes a while to get past if that can ever happen. It will take them a while to get back to a good place so here is my take. It will be a long story (for me anyway) with some romance and angst. There will be a happy ending though so please stick with it.

Warnings: Lots and lots of angst.

A/N: Italics signify flashbacks.

Prologue: Everything Changes

It had been one month since the night that had irreparably changed Janet's life. She had let her insecurities get the most of her when she saw her boyfriend kissing his ex. She had been so devastated that she slept with her friend (now ex-friend) Rooster. She knew at the time it was happening that it was a bad idea, but she couldn't seem to stop herself. She was hurting and needed someone. Of course, it turned out that the kiss meant nothing to Eddie just like the night with Rooster meant nothing; Eddie, however, was unable to get past it and they broke up.

After he yelled at her and kicked her out of his hospital room, they had barely spoken three words to each other. He rarely came to the bar and if he did it was only when he knew that she or Rooster weren't working. And Rooster, well, Rooster had been a pain in the ass for the first week after they slept together. He kept thinking that they were going to be a couple and no matter how much she argued to the contrary, he wouldn't get it. Finally, one night, she, Hannah, and Pizza Girl were all hanging out at Sullys when Rooster came over and lewdly suggested that he and she go some place private. At that point she had lost it.

"_Rooster, get it through your head, we are not together and never will be. What happened meant nothing! I'm sorry I used you, but I was angry and hurt. I regret what happened and I wish that I could change it. So please just leave me alone!"_

_Rooster's lecherous face quickly turned to rage. "Well, I guess what they've been saying about you is true. You really are nothing but a whore." Janet stood dumbfounded at that. She couldn't respond but really didn't need to. Seconds after the word 'whore' left Rooster's mouth, Hannah jumped up from her seat and punched Rooster in the mouth!_

_Rooster reeled back and without giving him time to recover, Hannah started in on him. "Listen here, you slimy bastard. Don't you ever call Janet a whore again. You are a sleaze who really needs to back off! Janet was hurt and angry, and she needed a friend. If you had been a real friend, you would have listened to her and stopped her from making a drunken mistake. And that's what you were Rooster; a mistake!"_

_Janet had faded into the background, Pizza Girl's arms around her shoulders, tears streaming down her face. "Do you even know how to be a good friend?" Hannah continued. "Because a true friend would have reassured Janet about everything and told her to talk to Eddie before doing anything rash. But no, you just kept playing on her doubts and insecurities telling her how much Eddie and Rory had been in love, how much there was no way they wouldn't still have feelings for each other. All the while hoping that it would lead right where it did. And instead of being a good guy and stopping it, you didn't because you knew that a drunk, hurt, and angry Janet would be the only Janet that would ever sleep with you! Well, its over, you bastard, so leave my friend alone!"_

_By this time, the bar had quieted down. Hannah's face was flush with anger and Rooster's lip was beginning to swell. The silence was broken by a small voice, "C'mon Hannah. Let's just go. I can't be here anymore." The girls then left and headed for Hannah's house._

Now, weeks later, Janet smiled every time she thought of that night. She loved Hannah and was so happy and proud that she had someone in her life who would stick up for her like that. After that night, Janet had stayed with Hannah and Ray for a couple of days and did a lot of thinking. After Eddie, it had been uncomfortable at the bar because his friends had been in and out. While they left her alone, they were hardly friendly. It was hard but she kept going because she loved her job. But then the thing with Rooster happened and she knew she couldn't stay there much longer. She talked to Sully and even though he tried to talk her out of it, she stood firm and handed in her two weeks. It gave her time to find a new job and Sully time to find a replacement. Both had happened and Janet had already been at her new job for a week.

There was a little bookstore on the outskirts of campus that Janet loved to visit. Coincidentally, around the time that she quit, they were hiring. She put in her application and they practically hired her on the spot. (She thought that her knowing a best-selling author may have helped.)

As Janet got ready for work, she looked in her full-length mirror and stopped at what she saw. For a month, every time she looked at herself, she saw and felt so many things. Sadness, guilt, anger, hurt. She saw a woman who had fallen down and apart and couldn't make things better. Now, however, in this moment, she saw a woman with color in her cheeks, a light in her eye and a smile on her lips. Janet decided then and there that it was time to roll with the changes.

TBC…


	2. Chapter 1 Hell Hath No Fury

Chapter One- Hell Hath No Fury Like a pissed off Pizza Girl

Pizza Girl was so excited to be done with work. It was rush week at the college and the frats and sororities were demanding an insane amount of pizza. But now work was over and she was going to see Phil. Pizza Girl's smile faded a little, though, at the thought of going over to Phil's house. She loved that man more than anything, but things between her and Eddie had been strained since she went over there after girl's night out ended in Hannah bringing the smackdown on Rooster's ass. As she drove to the house, she recalled that night.

_Pizza Girl stormed into Phil's house, pigtails flying behind her head like two multi-colored kite tails. Phil was in the living room, watching some game show that he turned off as soon as he saw the state of fury his girlfriend was in. "Hey, sweetie, what goes on?" He asked concerned. It wasn't everyday that he saw her in such a pique._

_Now, Phil and Pizza Girl had decided from the start not to discuss Janet in front of Eddie or Eddie in front of Janet; not that Phil ever saw Janet anymore, but still it was their agreement. Now, however, she was too steamed to give much thought to whether Eddie was in the house or not. She just started pacing, waving her arms, and the ranting begun. "You will not believe what happened tonight. There we were, enjoying some drinks, when Rooster came up and propositioned Janet! Can you believe that?" Pizza Girl was so into her diatribe that she didn't notice Phil trying to subtly get her attention. "And then Janet exploded and told him that she regretted what happened, it was a mistake, they would never be a couple, yadda yadda, and then oh man, he crossed the line!"_

"_Uh, sweetie, maybe you should…" Phil tried to stop her but she was on a roll._

"_Do you know what that jackass did then? He called her a whore! A whore?! Can you believe that?!"_

"_Honey!" Phil all but yelled. Pizza Girl finally stopped and gave him an annoyed look for interrupting her. Before she could say anything, he started gesturing behind her._

_She slowly turned around and was met with a very unhappy looking Eddie. "Oh, hey Eddie. What's up?" She asked in a fake cheerful voice. Eddie stood rigid, rooted to the spot. There was a long silence until Pizza Girl couldn't stand it anymore. "Look, Eddie, I'm sorry. I'm just so angry. He had no right to call her that and she's my friend. I mean, even you can't think she's a whore. Right?" She was met with nothing but Eddie clenching his fists, eyes looking downward. She turned to get a little support from Phil, but all he could do was shrug. _

"_Ok, wow." She turned back to Eddie. "You know, for the past month, I have walked on eggshells around you and Janet because I am the only one who sees both of you on a consistent basis. I have stayed out of this mess and you both have been great. You haven't pumped me for information, asked me to choose, or anything like that. And I appreciate it, really I do, but Eddie! C'mon! I know she cheated on you. I know she hurt you and maybe there's no forgiving that or coming back from it, but a whore? I can't believe that you would think that!"_

_Eddie finally looked up and said quietly, "I'm not the one that called her that."_

_Pizza Girl rolled her eyes. "No, but you think it, don't you?" Eddie's silence at the question was response enough. "Geez, Eddie! By definition, a whore is someone who gets pays for sex, which has never happened, or someone who sleeps with a hell of a lot of people. And Janet? Well, I'm pretty sure she's have sex with less people than Phil and he never leaves the house!"_

_Phil fought a smile at that last statement because he knew that Eddie did not find any of this funny. In fact, he was beginning to look pissed. "Um, Pizza Girl, maybe we should stay out of this."_

"_No!" She exclaimed. "I have stood by long enough and listened to people bad mouth Janet and now I'm done. Everyone has taken your side, Eddie; don't you get that?" She didn't wait for an answer; she just steamrolled on. "You're the hometown hero and even if people have never met you or even know what happened between you two, they are taking your side. So now it's like she's got a scarlet letter branded on her. And you know what? She takes it; she doesn't defend herself, doesn't make excuses, doesn't condone her behavior. She knows what she did was wrong and in her words, the biggest mistake of her life so she lets them punish her._

"_So yeah, I'm gonna defend my friend. I am going to yell and scream that its no one's business but yours and Janet's what went on. And just for the record, I think what she did was stupid. She knows it was. But she's my friend and I am not going to sit around and watch people bad mouth her." Pizza Girl winded down and turned to Phil. "Look, I'm gonna go see how she's doing. I'll call you later." Phil nodded his head in understanding and then she turned back to Eddie. "You know what's funny? She doesn't really care what other people think about her. She listens to it and doesn't argue because she thinks that every mean-spirited, cold-hearted thing they say is true, but she doesn't care about any of those people. She cares what _you _think, Eddie. And she knows that you hate her and thinks that you probably wish all sorts bad things to happen to her, but if she knew…" She shook her head in sadness. "If she knew that you honestly had lost all respect for her and thought that she is everything they call her, she would want to curl up and die."_

_A flash of pain crossed Eddie's eyes, but it came and went so fast, Pizza Girl thought she was imagining it. "Well, I'm not going to tell her. If you ever talk to her again, I will let you tell her how you really feel about her. I just hope it's not anytime soon." With that said, she went over, kissed Phil on the cheek and left._

Parking in front of the house, Pizza Girl took a few deep breaths. This is what she had worried about. She had been afraid that she and Phil would be forced to choose sides because she was Janet's friend and he was Eddie's. So far, they hadn't gotten into any arguments but she was scared that it was only a matter of time. As it was, she and Eddie had a hard time being in the same room together. She only hoped that it would get a little better. She honestly didn't know if he and Janet would ever reconcile but did hope that they could eventually be civil again.

Pizza Girl walked up to the house and knocked. She had a key but always knocked when she knew they were home. The last time she had walked in without warning, she had gotten an eyeful of a naked Eddie who was trying to teach Phil a lesson. Anyway, this time she did knock and Eddie answered the door. He looked tense for a moment, but stepped aside and let her in. "Hey, I just stopped by to see Phil. I thought he might have told you."

"He did," Eddie replied. "And that's why I stayed. I was hoping we could talk. He just got in the shower so we have a few. Do you mind?" He gestured to the couch and she sat down, with him sitting beside her. A tense silence followed, but this time she let it run its course. It paid off when he started talking. "Ok first I just want to say that I'm sorry if this thing with me and Janet has caused problems with you and Phil. I've tried to keep you guys out of it but its hard. I mean, it's not like you guys can go somewhere else and talk about it." Pizza Girl smiled, but said nothing. "I don't want you to have to stop talking about your friends. This is a small town and a small house; things about Janet are bound to come to my attention. I just hadn't expected to hear you yelling like that about that."

"Hey, I am sorry. And you're not causing problems with me and Phil. You're his best friend so of course, he's gonna support you, but at the same time you have to understand that Janet's become one of my best friends and I am going to support her. But I will try to refrain from yelling at you again. Really, really sorry about that."

Eddie chuckled. "Hey it's ok. And I don't think Janet's a whore, just so you know. Yeah, I'm mad as hell, and I don't trust her, but I haven't lost all the respect I had in her. I could never think that about any woman especially her. I was just shocked. I mean, I haven't heard anything about her in a while. I don't know what she's doing, how she is… who she's with."

The last part was quieter and suddenly Pizza Girl got it. "Oh, Eddie. You thought that she and Rooster got together? No, no, never. She hated what she did and she's regretted it. She had tried to tell him repeatedly that it shouldn't have happened and would never happen again. They are never going to get together. In fact, they probably won't see much of each other again."

Eddie stared as his hands, fidgeting. He never was good at talking about his feelings, yet here he was, pouring out his heart to his best friend's girl. "I find that hard to believe. They work together. They're bound to see each other eventually."

Pizza Girl shook her head. "No, she quit. She hated that she took your bar away from you and she couldn't stand being in the same building as Rooster so she got another job. About a week ago."

Eddie's face jerked up. "What? I- I thought- I didn't know. Where's she at now? Is she ok? Did something else happen to her?" The questions flowed from Eddie's mouth before he could stop them. As much as he hated to admit it, he really wanted to know what was going on with her. He didn't want to care, but he found that he couldn't stop himself.

"I don't know if I should tell you. I mean, it's not my place." At Eddie's disappointed look, she continued. "Eddie, she left because she needed a new start. She's not over you, but she knows that you're done with her. Because of that, she had to get away. She's still in town, at her place; if you really want to talk to her, then you know where to find her. But I can't tell you where you where she works. You kicked her out of your life and now she's just trying to move on with hers. I'm sorry."

Eddie shook his head. "No, its ok. I understand. Thanks. So we good, Pizza Girl?"

Pizza Girl smiled brightly. "Of course we are. So, where's my man? I mean honestly, have you ever known another guy that takes this long in the shower?" The rest of the night passed with the three of them laughing, talking, and periodically making fun of Phil's girlish tendencies. Eddie may be going through one of the worst times in his life, but spending the night with those two made him realize how lucky he was to have friends like these. Maybe things would be ok… eventually.

TBC…


	3. Chapter 2 A Day in the Life

Chapter 2- A Day in the Life of Eddie without Janet

Eddie woke up and instinctively reached to the other side of the bed. Not finding Janet, he thought that maybe she had gone to the bathroom. He started to get up and find her when it all came crashing down. The confession, the break-up, the month without her. He closed his eyes against the pain that consumed him. He hated this. Hated it! He knew that everyone thought he was angry and he was; but most of all he was hurt and incredibly sad. It was easier for people to think he was angry because then he wouldn't have to talk about the pain. Although he did talk briefly with Pizza Girl and seemed that she was beginning to understand how bad he was taking this.

Eddie thought that he just needed some time, but the longer he went without seeing Janet, the harder it became. Which left him with a dilemma; he figured that when he became overwhelmed with the need to see her, he would just go over to Sully's and look his fill. Now, though, she wasn't working there. If he wanted to see her, he would have to actively seek her out. He didn't know if he could do that. He was still so angry, but he also missed her like crazy. He didn't know how to face her without kissing her and punching a wall at the same time.

Of course, this wasn't going to get solved while he was lying in bed. He would have to think about this some more, if that was at all possible. It was all he had been thinking about for a month. Maybe talking to Owen would help. What they had gone through wasn't exactly the same, but Owen was the only one who knew what he was feeling. Yeah, that's what he would do. Call Owen and ask him to meet him at the window shop. Feeling a little better that he had a plan, Eddie got up and started another long and lonely day.

Later Owen had gotten his message and came to Best Friend Windows on his lunch hour. "Hey, Eddie," he greeted when he walked in, "What goes on?"

"Owen, glad you're here. Listen ,man, is it ok if we talk? I know that Allison and Ikey is still a sore subject but I need some advice."

Owen sat down in a chair across from Eddie's desk. "Sure man shoot."

"Well, I know you and Allison are trying to work things out and you and Ikey are on good footing again, so how did you do it? How did you forgive them?"

Owen chuckled hollowly. "Well, it wasn't easy. Truth is, I'm not completely there yet. But I will be. The big step was deciding that I was going to try and forgive them. That's how I know I'll get there; I want to and I'm trying. I mean, Ikey's my best friend and Allison's my wife. No matter what happens, I still love her."

Eddie nodded, knowing how hard this was for both of them. "Besides, you have kids together. You probably wanted to make it work for them."

"Nah," Owen disputed. "I mean, yeah, ideally, if we could be blissfully happy it would be great for them. But getting our marriage back together is going to take a lot of work and a lot of hurt and pain and anger is going to come out. We talked about it after Angela's funeral and we weren't going to put them through that if we weren't committed. And we are. I think we'll get through this and be stronger for it."

Eddie's heart skipped a beat at the mention of Angela's funeral. He remembered what happened between he and Janet afterwards; they had had great make-up sex the minute she pulled him in the door, followed by hours of talking about Angela and her grandparents and how much she was grateful he was going. Making up after that fight had been so simple, but nothing about them would ever be that simple again.

Owen looked at Eddie strangely and he was pulled out of his thoughts. He remembered what he wanted to say next and continued, "Yeah, but that's different, O. You guys have been married for a long time. You owed it to yourselves to give it another chance."

"Hey, Eddie, love is love. It wouldn't matter how long we'd been married; if the love wasn't there, we would've just called it quits. You have to decide if the same thing is true for you and Janet."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Eddie started, waving his hand in front of his face. "No one said anything about love. Janet and I care about each other, but love? We weren't together that long."

Owen started laughing at the deer-in-the-headlights look on Eddie's face. "Oh man, you are in such denial. Everyone knew you were in love with each other except you two. Sorry, but you wouldn't be taking it this hard if you weren't in love."

"Maybe, but she could sleep with someone so effortlessly, then she couldn't really be in love with me, could she."

"I don't know." Owen paused. "Look, I can't speak for Janet but as for me and Allison; I know Allison's not the type of person to just sleep around. For her to have an affair, something must seriously be wrong. And we're working those things out together now. So, ask yourself, for Janet to sleep with another guy, was something seriously wrong, and if so, what was it?"

Eddie was silent. He hadn't told anyone about the kiss he'd shared with Rory. Maybe it was selfish, but a part of him wanted everyone to think that it was all Janet's fault. And granted, most of it was, but he did acknowledge his role. The fact that no one knew meant that Janet hadn't told anyone either. Anyone else would have defended their actions by explaining that he had kissed another woman. But of course Janet, his Janet, wasn't really like that. She took responsibility for her actions and didn't try to place the blame on anyone else. He frowned deeply as he realized what he had just thought. She wasn't "his Janet" anymore and he would be better off if he could stop thinking about her like that. And while his brain seemed to be on board with that plan, his heart just hadn't gotten the memo yet.

"Hey buddy where'd you go?" Eddie snapped out of it at Owen's voice. Owen grinned at him and then looked at his watch. "Hey man, I gotta get back to work, but you call if you need anything, ok? I know you may not be ready for this, but it may help to make things cleared it you talk to her. I've seen her a couple of times and she's been taking this pretty hard too."

A sudden surge of anger overtook him. "She's taking this hard!? She's the one who threw our relationship down the toilet! Everything we had, everything we meant to each other meant nothing to her in the end! She has no right to feel bad!" Eddie was standing up now, hands clenched at his sides.

"Ok, definitely not ready to see her yet. And as true as all of that may be, she is taking this hard whether you like it or not. I just think it would be a good idea to get her reasons for doing it. But not until you can talk to her with wanting to hurt her."

Eddie's face fell and a stricken look passed over it. "I could never want to hurt her, Owen. No matter what she's done, I could never hurt her."

Owen sadly smiled. "Not all hurt is physical, buddy. I mean you have hurt her in the past, and it probably still affects her to this day. Not that that's any excuse, but it has happened. Just take some time and thing about it. I gotta go. Catch you later."

Eddie watched Owen leave and then sat down, defeated. He felt so drained all of a sudden. His stomach growled and he realized that he hadn't eaten since last night. He decided to run to the deli down the street and then get back to work. When he got there, he saw something that made anger clench hot in his belly. There stood Rooster Russo talking on his phone in the alley beside the deli. What he saw next shocked him.

Ikey walked in front of Rooster and took the phone out of his hands. "He'll have to call you back," he said into the mouthpiece and then hung up.

Rooster looked annoyed and a little scared. Ikey was a small guy but never failed to intimidate when he was angry. "Did the goon squad send you here to beat me up?" Eddie got closer but stayed hidden. He really wanted to see where this was going.

"Nope, I'm here on my own. See, the way I figure it, you and I are kinda in the same situation. I just wanted to offer my advice." Eddie angered at Ikey's words. What was he playing at? He didn't move from his spot however; he was anxious to see what would happen.

"We're not in the same situation. You slept with your best friend's wife, I slept with the woman I was in love with. Lattekka didn't deserve her and I had been trying to show her that from day one."

"You think I wasn't in love with Allison, Russo? You think I would ruin the best friendships I've ever had just for a quick screw? I was in love with Allison." Eddie's eyes widened. It had never occurred to him that Ikey had actually been in love. He just assumed that Ikey had thought to much with his downstairs brain and hadn't thought about the consequences. His ears pricked as Ikey continued, "But it was a selfish kinda love. I knew that Allison was still in love with Owen; I knew she was using me to forget about the problems in her marriage and I let her. I wanted to be close to her so I was willing to take what I could get. But I shouldn't have done it. I should have stopped it and been her friend. I should have talked to her and convinced her to talk to Owen and work things out. Any of this sounding familiar?"

Rooster didn't say anything, seemingly not wanting to admit that he saw the parallels in their situations. "I think you did love Janet, Rooster, but you knew that she would never feel the same way, so you took advantage of her heartache so you could be close to her, even if it was just once. Now, I'm not judging, because I try I may be a lot of things, but I try not to be a hypocrite. I'm just here to offer advice."

Rooster, realizing now that he wasn't going to be beaten up, stood a little straighter. "Yeah you mentioned that. What advice?"

"Walk away. I am so glad that Owen and Allison are working things out because I do still care about her and I want her to be happy and she's happy with him. You need to back off and let Janet be happy. If you really love her, that's what you should want for her."

Rooster's eyes narrowed. "Yeah right. And what, Lattekka's gonna take her back? I highly doubt that. He's not going to want her now. She's damaged goods. Besides I never see her anymore. She wants nothing to do with me."

Ikey smiled. "Well, she is one very smart woman. You know, I was gonna warn you to stay away from Eddie, but you're kind of a bastard, so I think I'll root for him to kick your ass next time he sees you. Now get out of here before I change my mind and do it for him." Rooster glared at him but high-tailed it out of the alley.

Eddie waited a few seconds and then walked up behind Ikey. "Hey man."

Ikey jumped and whirled around. "Eddie! Um, how much did you hear?"

"All of it. Don't worry, I'm not mad. Would've been happier if you had kicked his ass, but I understand. Thanks. I guess I didn't realize how much I needed to hear all sides of it. I'm still mad as hell, but not at you. I get it now; about Allison. I'm sorry. I hadn't realized you were in love with her."

Ikey shook his head. "I was, but it's no excuse. I crossed a line and I'm lucky enough that you guys were willing to let me back in. And about what happened here; I guess I just understood the guy and wanted to give him the wisdom of my mistakes. But, I don't think he really cares. Not anymore. I should've kicked his ass."

Eddie smiled and clapped Ikey on the back. "Don't worry about it. We'll leave the Rooster ass-kicking to Hannah. She seems to have it handled. C'mon, I'll buy you a sandwich." With that, the two walked into the deli, their friendship on better footing than it had been in a while.

A/N: Ok, not happy with the ending. I know it seems weird that Eddie would be so mellow about Ikey talking with Rooster and not getting mad, but I wanted to show that Eddie has respect for Ikey becoming his own person. It seems that he has just followed the other guys around, not really having his own life, and I wanted to show that he's growing and Eddie understands. But it is kind of out of character for Eddie not to just run up and punch Rooster, so sorry about that. Hope that makes sense.


	4. Chapter 3 A New Friend

Title: A New Friend

Janet stood in the personal growth section, ironically putting books away in the relationships category. She looked at some of the titles: Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships, Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships, How Not to Screw it Up. She snorted. "Where were these books three months ago?" She muttered to herself. 

"What did you say?" Janet looked up and saw her co-worker, Doug Sanderson smirking beside her.

"Oh, nothing." Janet smirked back. "These books just would have been helpful a little while ago. That's all."

Doug leaned up against the shelf. "Well, they're here now. Why don't you use them?"

Janet shook her head and continued putting the books away. "No, it's too late for that. Some things just aren't meant to be saved."

"Well I'm sorry to hear that. Look, you need any help you just let me know."

Janet smiled at his offer. "Sure thanks." 

Doug started to walk away and then stopped and turned abruptly. "Hey listen, would you like to go out for coffee after work." Seeing her shocked look, he quickly continued. "Not as a date, I promise. It's just that you're really nice and I'd like to get to know you more."

Janet searched his eyes and saw that he was sincere. She certainly wasn't ready to date yet, but as she had said to Eddie once, friendships are what you treasure and Doug seemed like he could be a good friend. "Yeah I'd like that. We both get off in a couple of hours. How about that coffee shop on the corner?"

"Sounds great!" Doug beamed and walked away. As the day wore on, Janet realized that she was really looking forward to coffee. Everyone of her friends knew Eddie and knew what happened and looked at her with a sadness; poor Janet couldn't hold on to Eddie Latekka, it was only a matter of time, so on and so forth. It would be nice to be around someone who didn't know Eddie and wouldn't feel sorry for her. This job was by far the best decision she could have ever made. 

Hannah wanted to call Janet so bad and talk to her, but she couldn't bother her right now. Janet had been through so much and didn't need anymore Hannah drama right now. She had told Janet that Gavin wasn't Sam's dad but hadn't told her anymore than that. She didn't tell her about the two possibilities and wasn't sure if she should bring it up. Hannah knew that Sam wasn't Eddie's because she was already pregnant when they had slept together. She had been so upset with finding out she was pregnant and not knowing who the father was that she had run straight into Eddie's arms. 

Now that the wedding was getting closer, Ray was pushing more and more to adopt Sam. She told him that they should wait until after they were married and he agreed but he wanted to start the ball rolling now. But even if she found out who the father was, she could guarantee that neither one would give him up to Ray. They both hated him and would rather die. The dilemma was huge and she didn't have anyone to talk to about it. 

Maybe Eddie was right; accountability was something she had never been good at. She smiled as she thought of Janet. She had made a mistake that changed her life, but it had never occurred to her to keep it a secret. She told Eddie and faced the consequences. Hannah had always admired her best friend and this was one of the many reasons she did. Now was the time to take a page out of Janet's book. Time to face the consequences, even if it was ten years too late.

Janet's shift was over and as she grabbed her stuff, she noticed that Doug was already waiting for her by the time clock. The two of them clocked out and then headed out the door. When they got to the coffee shop, Janet felt completely at ease with him. He was kind, sweet, thoughtful; she was really glad that they had done this.

"So why did you come to the bookstore? You told me that you used to work in a bar. How did you get from there to here?"

Janet smiled tightly. "That's a long story. Let's just say that I had a bad experience there and couldn't stay any longer."

"I'm sorry. You don't have to say anymore if it's too painful."

"Thanks. My boyfriend and I broke up and I didn't want to see him everyday. Sully's is kinda his bar. Seeing him would be too hard."

Doug nodded. "I understand. I was engaged a while back and when she broke it off, it was hard to be in the same places that she was."

"Did it get any easier? Seeing her all the time?"

"I don't know. She got a job offer in Seattle and I never saw her again. It did get easier not being with her, though. I just kept telling myself that she wasn't the one I was meant to spend the rest of my life with and I would find someone else. Someone better."

Janet smiled. "Yeah, I keep trying to tell myself that too, but I just don't seem to listen. For a while there, I thought Eddie was the one for me. Sometimes I still do."

Seeing how distraught Janet was getting, Doug tried to comfort her. "Well, maybe he is. I've always believed in meant-to-be. If this Eddie is the person you're supposed to spend the rest of your life with, then maybe you'll be with him again. You never know."

"Yeah, something tells me he doesn't feel the same way. Anyway, enough about my sad life, let's talk about you. How did you get involved in…"

Eddie walked down the street, not really knowing where he was going, just needing to get out and get some air. His thoughts were everywhere. He was thinking about what Owen said and how he had suggested talking to Janet. And as much as Eddie wanted that, the wounds were still fresh. He didn't even know what he would say to her, or even think if he saw her again. 

As if some unknown deity heard his thought, as he looked across the street from where he was standing, there sat Janet, outside at a table at a café. She was beautiful. She was sitting down so he couldn't see all of what she was wearing, but what he could see was enough to make his heart race. This was the first time he had seen her since the hospital and he hadn't realized how hungry his eyes were for a glimpse of her. She had on a sleeveless shirt, fitted so that even from across the street, he could see that it hugged her curves. He wanted nothing more than to run over there and run his hands all up and down her body, and he almost gave into the impulse until he saw something that made his blood boil for an entirely different reason than arousal.

A man walked up to Janet's table and set a glass down beside her. The minute she saw him, her face lit up the way it used to when she saw Eddie. He sat across from her and they started talking. He said something that caused her to throw her head back and laugh. Even in his rage, he couldn't help but think that she looked so wonderful. But no matter how good she looked didn't change the fact that she was on a date. A date not even three months after they had broken up! He knew it was inevitable, but so soon? Of course, she had barely waited two hours when she thought that he had left her for Rory, so why should he be surprised now.

Eddie saw red and turned on his heel to walk the other way. Well, if she could move on so easily then so could he. There had to be dozens of girls that were dying to be with Eddie Latekka now and he was a free agent again. Eddie headed towards the direction with the air of a man on a mission. It looked like it was going to be a wild night on the Ridge for Hail Eddie tonight.

A/N: These are actual books that exist. How Not to Screw it Up is by Nita Tucker. Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships is by Jon Welwood. Love, Sex, and Lasting Relationships is by Chip Ingram. Do not own them, please don't sue.


	5. Chapter 4 Secrets Come Out

Chapter Four: Secrets Come Out

Rory Dunlop loved her new job. She had enjoyed being a model, but she had gone to school for education. She wanted to work with kids and now she had a chance. She was working in admissions at the Doof and she loved it. She was helping incoming freshman get adjusted to life in college and she couldn't be happier. Now she was on her way home, an apartment not to far from her office. As she walked down the street, she noticed a bookstore and went inside. She had time on her hands for the first time in a long time and had so many books that she wanted to catch up on.

Walking in the store, the first thing she noticed was Janet. She was standing at the checkout, looking at the computer. Rory had heard about her and Eddie's breakup but had stayed away from them both. She could tell the night that she and Eddie kissed that he was very much in love with the woman he was seeing and after she had heard what happened, she hadn't wanted to make it worse. She was about to walk back through the door when Janet looked up and spotted her. 

A look of surprise flashed through Janet as well as feelings of hurt, but she pulled herself together. She knew that Rory didn't want Eddie back and that what she saw that night was not what it had seemed. She stood straighter and walked over to Rory. "Hi, Rory. Can I help you with something?"

Rory smiled. She really didn't want Janet to hate her. She had always thought that Janet was an amazing person in high school and talking to her briefly at Sully's when she first got back only enforced that opinion. She felt the best course of action was to get everything out in the open. "Look, Janet, I'm sorry. I had no idea that he was seeing anyone, and I have no idea if I'm the reason you guys broke up, I mean the rumor mill in this town is not all that reliable, but I swear there was nothing going on." Rory always rambled when she was nervous; it was one habit she was never able to break.

Janet wanted so much to hate this woman. This beautiful, ex-model, Eddie's first love, everything a man could want woman. Yet as Janet looked in her eyes, all she could see was genuine regret and a pain not unlike her own. Without realizing it, these two women had more in common than just being the only two women to break Eddie Latekka's heart. Janet sighed. "I know. It wasn't your fault. It was me and my stupid insecurities and mistakes. It wasn't you at all. In fact, you're great. You're kind and sweet and I think that's what made me so jealous. I thought all the women Eddie dated were superficial and fake but you're not and that scared me."

Rory laughed. "Yeah, I'm good at pretending. I'm not all that great. If I were, my husband wouldn't have left; of course, if I were smart, I would have realized he was gay in the first place. But live and learn, right?"

"Yeah, that's what I keep telling myself, but it doesn't seem to get any easier."

"No, it doesn't." Rory's cell phone rang then and she excused herself. When she hung up a minute later, she walked back over to Janet. "Hey, I have to go, but here's my card. If you ever want to talk or get together, give me a call. I'll understand if you never want to see me again, but I don't have a lot of friends in this town anymore, and I could use all I can get."

Janet took the card and to her immense surprise, she was actually considering it. Rory seemed great and she was obviously still in pain over her divorce. Maybe the two might be able to help each other. "Sure, that sounds great."

Rory grinned. "Great. I'll see you around." With that, she headed back to campus.

Across town Hannah was gearing for one of the hardest conversations she'd ever had. She stood outside Best Friend Windows, trying to get the courage to go inside and talk to Nick. Eddie wasn't there so she wouldn't have to deal with his disapproving looks but this was still going to hard. Gathering every ounce of courage she had, she straightened her shoulders and walked in.

"Hey Hannah, what goes on?" Nick looked up from his paperwork, and was surprised to see Hannah. He was never not happy to see her, but the look on her face was an indicator that this may not be the best visit ever.

"Hey, Nick, can we talk? This is really important."

"Sure sit down." He indicated the chair across from his desk and they both sat.

"Ok, this is going to be incredibly hard to tell you and you are going to be so angry at me, but its time the truth came out." Hannah took a deep breath to continue but Nick interrupted her.

"Sam's mine isn't he?" Nick had suspected ever since meeting the boy, and continued to suspect her even after she vehemently denied the accusation. 

Hannah looked up from her hands in surprise. "I don't know," she said honestly. 

"You don't know," Nick repeated, frowning. "Who's the other possibility?"

"I'll tell you eventually, but I need to talk to him first. Look, I can't even tell you how sorry I am for this. I was seventeen and scared and my mom thought it was a good idea to just lie about the whole thing. It's been eating me up for eleven years and I'm sorry."

Nick had so many questions but he asked the first one that came to mind. "Why now? I mean, I asked repeatedly if he was mine when I came back and you looked me in the eye and lied. And your lie's been working for you. To come out with the truth now is going to cause so much pain, especially to Sam."

"I know, god, I know. And I would rather die than hurt my little boy, but I had to come forward with this. In answer to your question, I'm doing it now because Ray wants to adopt Sam."

Nick bolted out of his chair, almost knocking it over. "Hell no, Hannah! No way am I going to give up my son to that bastard. If he is mine, I have already lost so much time and I can't lose anymore. No, forget it."

Hannah got up from her seat and faced off with Nick. "I know that, Nick. I knew you wouldn't agree with it and it's unlikely that the other "candidate" will either. I was just answering your question. Besides, when Sam finds out, he's going to want to get to know his real father and I'm not going to take away anymore time than I already have." A stricken look passed over her face. "Oh god, Nicky, he's going to hate me. My little boy's going to hate me. What am I going to do?"

Nick froze for a second and then did the only thing that he knew. He took her in his arms and held her close. "It's ok Hannah Jane. Sam's a smart and mature kid. He'll know you were only trying to protect him. You have been there for him his entire life, loving him, protecting him; this lie is not going to destroy everything you have."

Hannah pulled away and Nick couldn't stop his hand from wiping away tears from her face. For a second, it was easy to forget that it wasn't 1997 and that he hadn't broken her heart; it was easy to imagine that they were together and he had the right to do what he was about to do. He leaned and as his lips started to touch hers, the door to the shop flew open.

"Hey guys, what's going on…" Eddie stopped mid-sentence, sensing that he had interrupted something major, but not knowing what. "Hannah, you ok?"

Hannah quickly wiped the tears from her face. "Yeah, I think so." In fact, she was doing a lot better knowing that she had gotten this off her chest. The next person was going to be harder though. "Listen, I'm going to need you to take a paternity test before we make anymore decisions. I don't want to tell Sam until I know for sure. Ok?"

Nick nodded and with that, Hannah left with a cursory goodbye to Eddie. After she left, Nick relayed every bit of the conversation to Eddie. At the end, there was a pause and Eddie asked, "She was seventeen?" At Nick's nod, Eddie continued, "But that means that you hadn't left yet. She turned eighteen a few weeks after you left for Europe. I guess that means that she could have slept with someone else after you left…"

Nick shook his head. "No. She cheated on me. I know that. She got drunk at a party and had sex with someone else. She never told me who it was, just that it happened. I forgave her, but I was leaving and I knew that I wouldn't have to deal with it for a summer. I thought that I would be over it by the time I got back."

"Well, it's been 10 years Nicky? You over it yet?" Eddie really wanted to know because wanted to know how long it would take before he felt like he could forgive Janet.

Nick laughed. "Man, I forgave her about two seconds after it came out of her mouth. At that point, she had never lied to me; she made a mistake and told me about it the next possible chance she got. Yeah, I forgave her for cheating on me, but this? I don't know if I can forgive her for lying to me about a child that may be mine. That's something I don't think I can ever move on from."

Eddie nodded, deep in thought. Nick had a point. Janet had never lied to him either. She told him everything and he hadn't had shown her the same courtesy. But Hannah and Nick had been in love; of course he had forgiven her. 

"And you're telling me you're not in love with Janet?" Eddie looked up at Nick's question, not realizing he had said that last part out loud. 

"I don't know, Nicky, maybe I was. Maybe that's why it hurts so much."

"And maybe you still do and that's why the pain hasn't gone away yet."

Eddie shook his head in defeat. He had no idea what he was going to do about Janet; all he could do was take it one day at a time. He did know what he was going about Nicky though; support him. He was going to be there for his best friend no matter what the results turned out to be. Because judging by what he interrupted, Nick was still far from over Hannah and he was going to need all the help he could get.


	6. Chapter 5 Surprise Surprise

Chapter Five: Surprise, Surprise

Matt Lausch hated jail. It hadn't been his first time behind bars but he had a feeling that this time it was going to stick. He didn't know how he let Ray talk him into beating up Latekka but he did and now he was paying the consequences. Ray's lawyers were able to get him out on bail, but he was still going to trial for the attack. Ray had then convinced him to blame everything on the other two men that were there. Matt didn't think it would work, but he had a habit of doing everything Ray told him too. If it didn't work, Matt was going to make Latekka pay, that was for sure. And Matt knew exactly how he was going to do it.

Hannah walked slowly up the walk to the house of Sam's maybe-father. She wasn't sure what she was going to say, but she had to do this; for Sam, for Nick, and for herself. Walking up to the door, she took a deep breath and rang the doorbell. When the door opened, she smiled tentatively. "Phil, hi. Can we talk?"

Janet was done with work and had tried to call Hannah but no one was home and her cell phone went straight to voice mail. Not wanting to go home quite yet she found herself reaching into her pocket for Rory's card. Dialing the number she waited for Rory to answer.

"Rory Dunlop," the voice answered on the other end.

"Hey, it's Janet. I would really like to take you up on that offer to talk if you're not busy."

"No not busy at all. Why don't we meet at the campus union? It should be pretty quiet at this hour. Say in an hour?"

"Sure, meet you there." Janet realized she was looking forward to it. She really needed to talk to someone who had been in a similar position as her with Eddie and Rory was the only person that ever had. This too might shape up to be a great friendship.

"You mean, I could be Sam's dad? Little Sam? Why wouldn't you tell me before now?" Phil had just had the biggest bombshell of his life dropped on him and now he didn't know what to do. 

"I'm so sorry Phil. I was scared back then. The only person who knew was my mom and I listened to her when I shouldn't have. And after a while the lie just took on a life of its own. I swear, I never meant to hurt anyone, especially you. I guess I just wanted to forget that night ever happened. It wasn't exactly my finest moment."

Phil knew exactly what she was talking about. Hannah and all the guys sans Nick had snuck into a frat party. They had gotten completely wasted and sometime during the night he and Hannah had slept together. She had been upset because she knew that Nick was leaving and she had a feeling that once he left, he wouldn't come back. Phil had tried to reassure her and one thing led to another. They agreed to never tell anyone but she had told Nick that she cheated. Nick never found out it was him. "Yeah, I know. So, does Nick know? About us?"

Hannah shook her head. "No, I didn't tell him. I told him that there was another possibility but I didn't tell him it was you and I won't. I saw what happened with Ikey and Owen and I won't put you through that. I know you can't leave the house to get a test done but you and Nick are the only ones it can be. If the test comes back negative for Nick, we'll know you're the father. Please Phil, is there any way you can forgive me?"

Phil sat back on the couch, stunned by the news that he had to take in. Never in a million years had it occurred to him that he might be Sam's dad. They had all just assumed that either Nick or Gavin was the father, but now… Now it was all changing. "Well, I can't really fault you looking back. We were both kids and I don't know what kind of father I would have made at eighteen and now? Now I would make a horrible one. I can't even leave the house, how could I ever be a responsible father?"

Hannah reached out and took his hand. "No, Phil, don't think like that. You have always been ridiculously mature and smart and you would have made an amazing father. I should have told you and Nick a long time ago and now I'm facing the consequences. I know a lot of people are going to get hurt, already have, but it was time."

Phil smiled at her reassurance. "Thanks, Hannah. Why are you doing it now?"

Hannah had been waiting for that question. "After we get married, Ray wants to adopt Sam. I need the father's permission." 

Phil's eyes widened. "Oh, well I guess that makes sense. Look, every part of me wants to say no way in hell, but on the other hand, what I have to offer Sam? I'm a shut in and Ray's not. For all his faults, I have been told that he's a good dad and Sam seems to like him. Maybe it would be best…"

Hannah's chest tightened at the pain and sadness in Phil's eyes and not for the first time she felt like a horrible person. If he turned out to be Sam's dad and she had come clean earlier, Phil may not have been in this situation. Everything she thought was the right thing to do was coming back to bite her in the ass and she could not feel worse. "Listen, we're not going to decide anything right now. In the end, the final say should be Sam's. He's old enough to know what he wants and he'll decide. For now, though, let's just take one step at a time, ok?"

Phil smiled and stood up. As he walked Hannah to the door, he knew what he had to do. After she left, he picked up the phone and called his girlfriend. Now was the time he needed her the most.

"So, he was gay? And you didn't know?" Janet and Rory had been talking in the union for about an hour and she had to say that she was fascinated. 

"No, can you believe it? I mean, we were having problems, sure, but what marriage doesn't. But I never thought that _that_ was the problem. And man, when you tell people that your husband was gay, the looks you get. People think, 'oh, did she turn him gay? How stupid could she have been to marry a gay guy?' It's pretty terrible."

"Oh I don't think you could turn a guy gay. Turn him straight maybe. I mean look at you." Janet had no idea how someone so beautiful could have so many insecurities but she was quickly learning that no one was immune to it.

Rory blushed. "Yeah, well looks aren't everything. I can't tell you how many time I wished people would stop assuming that I'm an airhead with no substance just because I'm pretty. I mean, I graduated with honors from school, top ten of my class, but no one cares about that. The only thing most people think I'm good for is knowing where the best places to get your nails done are."

Janet laughed. "Yeah, I know what you mean, only in my case, it's where the best bacon burger is."

"Hey, don't do that. People are idiots. When I was a model, none of my other friends were models. They were the assistants or the gofers. They were the ones who were the coolest and I treasured their friendships above all others. Except Jake, of course. You know, I think that's what gets me. He was my best friend and he was going through something so big and life changing and he felt that he couldn't share it with me. I thought we had gotten to the point that we could discuss anything, no matter how painful, but instead he had to go and have an affair with his secretary. I mean, yeah, I would have been hurt and sad to see our marriage end, but at least he would have talked to me about it first. When he cheated, I didn't just lose my husband, I lost my best friend."

Janet was silent, lost in thought. What Rory had just said hit a little to close to home. "You know, I think that's kind of how Eddie must have felt. I saw you two kissing and I was hurt and confused, but instead of talking with him, I went and had sex with another guy. I mean, how could I do that to him? He meant everything to me and I threw it all away."

"Don't beat yourself up too much. Nothing else may have happened between Eddie and me, but a kiss is enough. It had to have hurt, and you lashed out. I did the same thing when I found out about Jake. I went out and had a one night stand that I've regretted ever since. People do stupid things when they're in pain; you just have to forgive yourself and try and move on. And from the looks of it, you've already started."

"I've tried to move on, but I think I'm a long way from forgiving myself. I will never be ok with hurting Eddie or for ruining what we had. I know how you feel about losing your best friend. It hurts so much sometimes." Rory and Janet were both silent then, the irony not lost on either of them. The prom queen and the outcast, sitting together, friends, reminiscing about lost loves and missed opportunities. It was in that moment they both realized that high school and all the stereotypes and stigmas that came with it had truly passed; the only thing left were two women with broken hearts, bonding over lattes and muffins, clinging to the hope that one day love would find them again.


	7. Chapter 6 All's Fair

Chapter Six: All's Fair in Love and War

Eddie headed out of the window shop and down to the deli. He didn't really want to go home quite yet because Phil had been acting extra strange yet and wouldn't tell him why. He was just gonna get a sandwich and head back to work to do some paperwork. As he walked into the deli, his eyes immediately landed on Rory.

"Rory, I'm surprised to see you here. Long way from campus, aren't we?"

Rory turned and smiled, knowing he was only joking. "Hah, funny. I missed the tuna here. No matter where I go, no one makes it like this place. I have to hurry though, I've got meetings all day."

Eddie found that he didn't want her to go. There wasn't anything there between them anymore, but he did miss her and besides, might as well give the town something to talk about other than him and Janet. "Hey, do want to get dinner sometime? Just to catch up."

Rory thought about it. She didn't want to upset Janet, but surely she wouldn't object to two friends getting together. She would just make sure she called Janet and told her what was going on and that it wasn't a date. "Sure, how about tonight?"

"Sounds great. Ever been to Hugo's Hideaway?"

Matt Laucsh was out on bond; at least Ray had come through for something. He knew that he was going to jail for this, no matter how much Ray tried to reassure him. The only thing left for him to do was to make sure that Latekka paid and knew exactly who he was messing with.

Eddie sat down across from Rory at Hugo's. He knew it was wrong and insensitive to bring her to the place of his and Janet's first date, but he hadn't been able to help himself. He found that he needed to hurt Janet, even if she never found out that they came here. Mentally shaking his head to rid his thoughts of her, he focused on the woman in front of him. "So, how do you like your new job?"

"It's wonderful. I really like working with the freshman. I can remember how scared I was being at college so far away from home and I didn't have anyone to help me. It's nice to be able to give them someone to talk to."

"It must have been tough being away from your parents. I run into them every now and then. They've always let me know you were doing ok."

Rory smiled. "Yeah, they always liked you. Said it was the biggest mistake I ever made leaving you. I do regret hurting you, Eddie. I never meant to leave like that."

"Hey, it's ok. Really. I moved on and I think we both ended up where we were meant to."

"You know, I hate that Jake and I ended the way we did, but for the life of me, I can't regret marrying him. Even knowing how it ended, with all the hurt and confusion, I wouldn't trade what we had for anything. I loved him, still do, and I can't seem to regret that."

Eddie was silent. He knew exactly what she meant even if he didn't want to. He hated the way things ended with Janet, but he didn't want everything they had to go away. He wanted to remember the good times even if they would never happen again. Of course, remembering the good times meant that the bad ones were right there too. Seeing her with Rooster never managed to go away and just recently seeing her with that man in town; Janet was obviously forgetting all about the good times and moving on. Well, it was time for him to do the same. Eddie sat back and enjoyed dinner with a beautiful woman, and tried hard to push all things Janet out of his mind.

"Hey, Phil, how are you doing?" Pizza Girl walked into his house, and saw him sitting on the couch in the dark. He had told her everything that had happened and she was very supportive. A lot of things went down that year and Pizza Girl was realizing that she had only scratched the surface of all of them. She had no idea what would happen if Sam turned out to be Phil's but she did know that she loved him and would stick by him through anything.

"I don't know. It's so surreal. I mean, I could have a kid! An eleven year old child and I don't know what to do. I don't even know how to process it."

Pizza Girl went over, sat beside him, and pulled him into her arms. "Hey, listen. We will figure this out, ok? No matter what happens, I will always be here for you. And you know what? Sam likes you a lot. The night after he slept over here, he told me that I had a pretty cool boyfriend."

Phil turned around to look at her. "He said that?"

"Yeah, and he's right. I do have a pretty cool boyfriend. And if the test comes out negative for Nick, he'll have a pretty cool dad. So don't worry, everything will be fine."

As she pulled him down to lay on the couch with her, he started to think that yeah, maybe everything would be fine.

Eddie walked Rory up to her place, reluctant to see the night end. Spending the evening with her was fun; it brought back a lot of memories. She unlocked the door and then turned around to say goodnight. He looked at her, really looked at her and was overcome with an urge to kiss her. He didn't know if it was because he hadn't been with a woman since Janet or if he was really having feelings for Rory but he couldn't stop himself from leaning in and pressing his lips to hers.

The second Eddie's lips touched hers, Rory pushed him away. "What are you doing?"

Surprised by her immediate refusal of his advances, he tried to turn on the charm. "Well I just thought that since we had such an amazing evening, we could finish it with a great night."

Rory shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe you! Isn't this what got you into this mess in the first place? Janet seeing the two of us kissing?"

Eddie's eyebrows raised in surprise. "How did you know that?" People knew about Janet and Rooster but few knew it started with he and Rory on a bench.

"I've talked to her. She's really great and feels terrible for what happened. And don't think I don't see what this would be. Its revenge sex and I refuse to be that for you. I still know you Eddie Latekka and you think that since Janet slept with Rooster because she thought that you and I were sleeping together, you might as well make it the truth. Well, I'm sorry, I'm not going to do that to her."

"This is unbelievable! You two are, what, best friends now? Whose side are you on anyway?"

"I'm on your side and hers. I'm on the side that gets the two of you happy again. I saw you that night after we kissed. I could tell that there was someone out there that you loved and that she was one lucky woman. But take it from someone who knows, it is not easy to see someone you love with someone else. Even though what happened between us was just a kiss, for all she knew, it was more. It was really painful for her and I refuse to add to her pain more."

Eddie scoffed. "Her pain?" Eddie shook his head. "You know what? I've heard this all before and I am not going to listen to it from you. You can go to Janet and say that you've been a good friend, but I'm done hanging around feeling sorry for myself. You may not be, but there are plenty of women in this town who would love a chance to spend a night with me. See you around, Rory."

With that he walked off, leaving Rory stunned. She felt like she had just made a mess of things even more than they already had been. She only hoped that Eddie came to his senses before anything drastic happened.

Three hours later, Eddie left Sullys with a skinny, tall, redhead and headed back to her place. Sara, Cindy, Cynthia, whatever her name was, told him where she lived and he went that way. Three hours of drinking had managed to dull the memories of Janet, but hopefully a night with Sylvia would eradicate them altogether.

Unbeknownst to Eddie and his flavor of the week, two men had seen him drive away and had their own plans of how to use this information.


	8. Chapter 7 Is it Really Over?

Chapter Seven: Is it Really Over?

Rooster Russo finally had the upper hand. He had the final nail in the coffin that held Eddie and Janet's relationship. He had overheard Hannah talk about where she worked now and he went there to tell her about seeing Eddie the night before. He walked into the bookstore, and found her in the back corner of the store. Perfect. "Hey, Janet, how's it going?"

Janet whirled around, gritting her teeth. As much as she wanted to scream and shout at this man, she had to remain calm. "What do you want Rooster?"

"Oh, just to let you know about something I saw last night that might interest you."

She didn't want to play into whatever he was planning, but she was still curious. "What's that?"

"Well, I saw Eddie get drunk with a pretty little co-ed and he was looking mighty happy. They left together and I don't think they were gonna spend the night looking at the stars. Just thought you should know that he's obviously over you."

Janet closed her eyes briefly and then opened them, anger flashing through them. "You know what, Rooster? You need to get out. Out of this store and out of my life. I mean, what happened to you? I know that I hurt you and for that, I'm sorry, but why do you find that you have to be so cruel?"

"Because I thought that he didn't deserve you but maybe I was wrong. If you are still going to have this unfailing loyalty to him then maybe you do deserve each other. Well I'm done, he can have you." With that Rooster left, slamming the door to the store behind him.

The tears that Janet held in came flooding out and she ran to the back room. Doug heard the commotion and followed her back. "Hey, Janet, what's wrong?"

"Everything. Eddie was with another woman last night. I mean, I shouldn't be surprised. He's a great guy and women have always been falling all over themselves around him, but it still hurts so much!" 

Doug strode across the room and took her in his arms. "Hey, it's ok to cry. You love him and him going out seems like he's moving on, but maybe he's not. Maybe he's just trying to forget. Not that that is really any consolation, but it would mean that he still cares about you."

Janet pulled away. Doug was trying to be so sweet and she understood what he was trying to say. "Thanks. Maybe you're right. But either way it doesn't matter. He will never forgive me and I need to move on too. I just have to find a way to stop loving him so much first." Janet smiled tightly at Doug and then walked into the ladies room. As she dried her tears, she decided that if Eddie was going to move on, then so would she. 

Eddie strode into his house at 9:30 that morning. When he woke up, he realized that he had spent the night at Shelly, Sherry's house. Man, why couldn't he remember her name! A brief conversation with her told him more than he ever wanted to know. Apparently shortly after arriving at her place, he had noticed a DVD of hers, On the Waterfront. That led to him sinking down on the couch and blathering on about Janet and how wonderful she was and how much he missed her but hated her for what she did. Cindy had surprisingly understood and let him crash on her couch and even made him coffee and toast the next morning. He left after his hangover died down and with her solemn promise that she would never mention it to anyone.

When he walked into the house, he saw Pizza Girl and Phil lying on the couch. He didn't understand why they often chose to sleep there when Phil had a perfectly good bed upstairs, but he never questioned it. They looked so happy and peaceful and Eddie was struck with a pang of longing so sharp that it nearly knocked him off his feet. In that moment, nothing else mattered but seeing Janet. As quickly as he walked into the house, he was back out again, this time heading straight for Janet's house. 

Eddie hadn't been sure she was going to be home, but there was her jeep, parked in her driveway. Eddie turned off his truck and gathered his courage before getting out and walking up to her door. Ringing the doorbell, he waited patiently for her to open the door. When she did, his heart stopped. She was wearing a tank top that hugged her curves and sweatpants that clung to her lower body. She wasn't trying to be sexy but seeing her after so long made his heart beat faster and his mouth water. 

Janet wasn't sure who could have been at her door, but Eddie was not one she would have even suspected. Her shock and utter need to take in every detail of his person prevented her from talking right away. After her heart came down from her throat, she found her voice. "Eddie, what are you doing here?"

"I-I'm not sure. I just really wanted to see you." Eddie wasn't even sure how to begin, but he did know he didn't want to have this conversation out on the street. "May I come in?"

Janet jumped back and waved him in. "Of course. I'm sorry, I'm surprised to see you here."

"Yeah, I know, I'm kinda surprised myself. I don't even know what I want to say. I guess I just need to know some things."

Janet nodded. She knew this day was coming, she just really wasn't as prepared for it as she thought. "Sure, Eddie, I'll tell you anything you want to know."

"Yeah, I'm just not sure what I want to know. I guess… I need to know how to forgive you. Isn't that weird? I know everything else that happened that night, but this? This is too hard; I miss you and I need to forgive you, but I don't know how."

Janet looked at him in confusion. "Do you really know what happened that night? Why I did what I did?"

"Sure, you were pissed about what you think you saw and did something that you shouldn't have. I get it. It's not like you did it to deliberately punish me or anything. Did you?" Eddie didn't like where this conversation was going but he came over here and he was going to see this through.

Janet couldn't believe what she was hearing. She knew that she had made the biggest mistake between the two of them, but for him to stand there and not even take a little responsibility for what happened was pissing her off. "You know, I really wish that I could say that I didn't do this to hurt you but I can't. I saw you Eddie. I saw you kiss another woman." Janet held up her hand to stop his protests. Anger swept through her like a tidal wave. Everything she had felt that night was coming back, all the anger and hurt was finally directed at the man she was angry with. "And I don't care Eddie! I don't care that it was only one kiss or that it didn't mean anything to you. Because it sure as hell meant something to me! It meant that you were finally coming to your senses that I wasn't worth your time anymore. It meant that your first love would always be your true love and it meant that I was nothing to you."

Tears shown in her eyes and she continued, "Don't you get it Eddie? You hurt me that night, whether you realized it or not. The fact that you didn't tell me about her meant that you were taking the time to work through your feelings about her. I mean that was what the kiss was about wasn't it? To see if you still had feelings for her? To see if the spark was still there? For all I knew, if you had felt something and was going to end up in bed with her. So yeah, I slept with Rooster to hurt you and it worked."

So many emotions were running through Eddie at her words. Sadness that he had been the one to make her feel so insecure without even meaning to; disbelief that she had felt this way for awhile and he had never known; recognition that she was right and he had been working through his feelings for Rory and hadn't really thought about how Janet might feel. But he also felt anger, however irrational, that she would know him so well, and that was what he held on to and used to push all other emotions aside. "You know what Janet? I'm sorry that you feel this way. I am, but I don't know what you want me to do! I mean I didn't know that I had to check with you on everything I did. Rory had nothing to do with you so I didn't mention her. It was between me and her; no one else."

Janet laughed cruelly. "Yeah, it's always about you, isn't it? Everything that has happened, every decision you've made is based on how it will affect you. Standing me up because people would make fun of you; not going to see my grandparents because it was an inconvenience to you; cozying up to an old girlfriend because you had to know what she still meant to you. Well, maybe I thought I deserved some of that consideration. Because I may be new at this relationship thing, but I'm pretty sure that you are supposed to consider your partner before you do something that could hurt them. I screwed up and I take responsibility for that; maybe it's time you take responsibility for your own actions!"

Eddie saw red at her words. How dare she turn this back on him? It was her fault! 'Even though she is right about so much,' a little voice in his head piped up. Eddie drew on all the anger he had inside of him to stifle that voice. "Sure, I'll take responsibility. I take responsibility for breaking up with you. It's over, really over. No hope, no possibility. This is done!" With those words, he left the house, slamming the door behind him.

Janet stopped cold when the door shut. She couldn't believe what had just happened. It really was over. She had lost him for good. She sank to her knees and cried like she had never cried before.

Outside, Eddie got into his car and turned the car on. The song blaring on the radio when the truck started was Saturday Night. All the anger faded and was replaced by a blanket of sadness, smothering him until he felt like he couldn't breathe. He couldn't believe this. He had gone over here to try to talk things out and instead everything was worse. She was being honest with him and he couldn't take it. He really couldn't take accountability of his part in this mess. He thought he had, but he hadn't realized how much he had hurt her. And with all this pain they caused each other, were things really over? Could they come back from this and should they even try? Shaking off that depressing line of thoughts, he changed the station and drove off into the night.


	9. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight:

**Warning: This chapter deals with non-explicit descriptions of rape. The parts of the story that deals with it will be in bold so please skip if this is offends you. **

Eddie was in his room, putting on his best suit. Matt Lausch's court date had arrived and hopefully he would be going to jail for a long time. There was a knock on the door and Eddie called for them to come in.

Ikey walked in, suit on and Boston Red Sox hat missing form his head. "Hey you ready?" They were both going to give their testimony and hoped it would be enough to get Lausch out of their lives.

"Yeah, let's get this over with." Eddie didn't really want to be doing this today. He really wanted to just stay in his room and think about the mess that he and Janet were. When he stormed out of her house, all he had been thinking about was that she had the gall to blame everything on him. Now, three days later, he had come to realize that she wasn't blaming everything on him, just trying to tell him what she was feeling that night. And he had wanted to know. He guessed that he just thought she would beg him to take her back. It was stupid to think that though because Janet wasn't one to beg and he didn't want her to be. He wanted her to remain the strong, stubborn Janet that didn't take crap from anyone. 

Eddie and Ikey walked out of his house, and climbed into Eddie's truck. Their friendship was tenuous at best but they were working through it. Eddie had come to realize that it wasn't his fight, it was Owens and he just needed to let the two of them duke it out. 

The drive was silent and before they knew it, they pulled up to the courthouse and walked in. They quickly found the courtroom they were assigned to and Ikey started to walk in. Eddie stopped him. "Listen, man, I just wanted to thank you. I know this isn't easy for you, with Ray being your boss and all, but I appreciate it."

"It ain't nothin' man. Ray may be my boss but he isn't my best friend; you are. It's not a big deal." With that, Ikey walked into the courtroom with an air of confidence Eddie had rarely seen on the other man. Apparently they had all changed the past year and Eddie was proud of Ikey. 

After two hours of testimony, the judge decided that Matt Lausch was guilty of assault and battery and ordered him to appear in two weeks for sentencing. The fancy lawyer Ray had hired got the judge to release him on his own recognizance. Eddie wasn't too worried about it though. What harm could he do? Eddie refused to be surprised like that again and he didn't think Lausch would try to beat him up again.

The guys walked out of the courthouse and they both started making calls to the guys. All but Phil made plans to meet up at Sully's to celebrate Lausch's impending incarceration. This day was shaping up to pretty damn good.

Matt Lausch hated Latekka with all his guts. He wanted to make him pay, but he knew he couldn't go after him. He was going to be hanging around his goon squad for the next two weeks so he couldn't go after any of them either. He toyed with the idea of going after that moron Phil; it's not like he could run anywhere, but the chances of getting caught were high. He was running out of options when he spotted someone that made everything click into place. He reached into his glove compartment for a ski mask he used on the job site when it was cold. Perfect. Yeah, he was gonna get Latekka where it hurt. 

Janet walked out of the bookstore and turned to lock the door. Her boss had to leave because of a family emergency and entrusted Janet to lock up. After double checking the locks, she walked around to the back where her car was parked. She was almost to her car when she felt two powerful arms grab her from behind. Before she knew what was happening, the person behind her pulled her purse from her shoulder and threw it behind him.

Eddie and the guys walked into Sullys and grabbed a table near the juke box. It was in the corner and hopefully no one would bother them. Luckily, Rooster wasn't working tonight so he didn't have to deal with that jackass. All he had to do was try to enjoy a night out with the guys and ignore the big hole in his heart where Janet used to be. She was better off without him anyway.

* * *

**Janet was thrown to the ground. She tried to push away her attacker, but her arm had hit the ground hard and she couldn't move it. 'Oh, god, I'm going to die.'**

Eddie sat back in his chair at Sully's, listening to the guys yammer on about their days. He tried to join in the happiness at finally giving Lausch what he deserved but his heart was heavy with the knowledge that he and Janet were over. He really wanted to forgive her, and even though he could finally see himself doing that someday, he wasn't sure he could ever forget it. 

"**Please, please leave me alone," Janet pleaded, but to no avail. She knew what was coming and only prayed that it would end soon. She vaguely remembered hearing that it was best to give into a rapist so that you would make it out alive, so she closed her eyes and thought of anything and any place but where she was.**

* * *

"Hey, Eddie man, what goes on? You haven't said a word all night. You sick or something?" Ikey was worried, as were the rest of the guys but none of them knew how to help him.

"Nah, Ikey, I'm fine. Just tired. Listen, I'm gonna go get some more beer. Be right back." As he walked to the bar, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong, but he didn't know what it was.

* * *

**Her attacker finally pulled away, and hit her again. Janet opened her eyes, desperate to know who had done this to her. He looked at her and whispered, "You tell Latekka this is what happens when he messes with the wrong people." Her attacker got up to leave when she was overcome with strength she hadn't realized she possessed. She pushed herself off the ground and grabbed for the mask he wore. Her attacker pulled away and pushed her backwards. Her head connected with the trash bin and as darkness consumed her, Eddie's sweet smile swam behind closed eyelids.**

* * *

Hannah was at Sully's with Ray when she got the call. She was at the juke box, trying to pick out a new song when she answered her phone. "Hello? Yes, this is she. What?! When?! Oh, my god, of course, I'll be right there." Hannah quickly hung up and turned to go back to her table. 

The guys' table was right by the juke box and they overheard the call. Thinking it was about Sam, Nick grabbed Hannah's arm and asked her what was wrong. "It's Janet. She was attacked in the parking lot at her job. She's been taken to the hospital. I have to go."

Eddie's world stopped after hearing 'she was attacked'. Janet, his Janet was attacked? Who would want to hurt someone so amazing? Almost as if on cue, Ray came into his vision. He was getting up and following Hannah out into the parking lot. Of course, Matt Lausch. He was the only one who made sense. Beating up Eddie hadn't been enough, he had to go after the women he loved? Eddie got up and practically ran out the door, anger and hatred pounding in his ears, drowning out the protests of his friends. If anything happened to Janet, someone was going to pay.

A/N: Eddie doesn't know that Janet was raped, just that she was attacked. Sorry for any confusion. I usually hate reading let alone writing rape scenes but this was where my story led me. I hope that it was vague enough not to offend anyone but enough to get the point across. 


	10. Chapter 9 Love in the Time of Tragedy

Chapter 9: Love in the Time of Tragedy

As Eddie got outside he saw Ray talking to Hannah as she got into her car. He waited until Hannah drove off and Ray had started back towards the bar. Eddie grabbed Big Cat by the shirt and threw him up against the wall of the bar. "Did you know about this? DID YOU!!"

Ray had never seen anyone so enraged before and even though he had no knowledge of who was responsible for Janet's attack, he knew that it wouldn't matter to Eddie. "Latekka, La-" Ray couldn't get anything out because Eddie's arm had moved up to push against his windpipe. All of a sudden the pressure let up and he saw that Owen and Ikey had pulled Latekka off of him. Ray struggled to catch his breath and tried to ignore the murderous look in Latekka's eyes.

"Get off me! Lausch did this and he knows it!" The guys continued to try and keep Eddie at bay. Nick went over to Big Cat and stood toe to toe with him as he had after Eddie had gotten jumped.

"Look Garrett, I don't know who did this," Ray said hoarsely. "If it was Matt, he didn't tell me about it."

Nick stared at him long and hard. "You may have been able to convince everyone that you had nothing to do with Eddie's beat down but I know differently. Now tell me, did you know what he had planned for Janet?"

"I may be a lot of things, Garrett, but I don't condone hurting women. I would never, _ever_ hurt a woman, especially Janet. Hannah would kill me herself." Ray really hoped he could convince them because he didn't want to get his ass kicked tonight.

Nick thought about beating Ray just for the hell of it, but he believed him. Ray had never shown any aggression towards a woman before and he believed that if Lausch did it and Ray knew, he would have stopped him. He turned around and walked over to the guys. "Eddie, Eddie, hey man look at me." Eddie looked at Nick but was still zoned out; the only thing on his mind was hurting the person who had hurt his Janet. "Look, Big Cat's not worth it. We need to get you to Janet, ok? She needs you. All right man, do you hear me?"

Eddie heard his friend's voice, but didn't hear the words until he said Janet. Then it clicked. He had to see Janet and make sure she was ok. Then all the energy drained out of him. Feeling him go slack, Owen and Ikey let him go but stayed in guard in case he decided to go after Ray again. "No, no," Eddie whispered. "She hates me. She hates me."

"What are you talking about?"

"We had a huge fight and I told her it was over. She hates me and she won't want to see me." Eddie felt like his world was crumbling. In an instant, everything changed. He just wanted to see her face.

Nick grabbed Eddie and hauled him up before he fell to the ground. "Listen to me, she will want to see you. I don't care what's happened between you two, she will want to see you. So let's go." Eddie allowed himself to be led to Nick's car and after putting him in the passenger seat, he got into the driver's side and headed to the hospital, leaving Ikey and Owen to handle Big Cat.

Hannah rushed into the hospital and ran to the nurse's desk. A few quick words and the nurse led her to Janet's room. She knew few details as to what happened but even if she had known more, nothing would have prepared her for what she saw. Her kind and beautiful best friend was lying in a bed, hooked up to all sorts of machines, face battered, pale and bruised, looking so small and fragile in that bed. Hannah felt tears well up in her eyes but pushed them back. It didn't matter that Janet couldn't see her right now; she had to be strong. She started to walk over to the bed when a doctor walked into the room.

"Miss Daniels?" Hannah turned and nodded. "Hi, I'm Dr. Baker. I treated Ms. Meadows when she was first brought in. Let's talk outside."

Hannah followed him out and asked the question that was first on her mind. "What happened. They didn't tell me much over the phone. Just that she was attacked."

Dr. Baker nodded. "Yes, she was brought in with multiple abrasions on her body. Her right arm is badly sprained and will have to stay in a sling for a couple of weeks. She was hit on the face multiple times but luckily nothing was broken. However, she did fall and hit her head. I'm afraid she's in a coma." Hannah's hand flew to her mouth. She had been here before with Sam and she knew this was bad. "Our initial scans show no brain damage, but there is swelling in the brain. We need to wait for that to go down before we'll know more."

"I can't believe this. Is there anything else?"

This is the information Dr. Baker was dreading to share. "Yes. I'm sorry to say that Ms. Meadows has been sexually assaulted. I'm so sorry. Feel free to stay as long as you want. It will help to hear your voice."

Hannah nodded and watched as the doctor walked away. She turned and walked back into Janet's room. She pulled a chair over by the bed, sat down, and grabbed her hand. "Janet, sweetie, I'm here now. You need to wake up ok? I need you and so does Sam. He has his science fair next week and he was really looking forward to you being there." Hannah stopped talking and just let the tears flow. She could be strong later, when Janet woke up. Right now, she cried at the injustice of this, cried for the pain her friend would feel, and cried because the Janet she knew would never be the same.

Eddie walked into the hospital and went to the room that Janet was in. Nick had called Hannah and she had told him the room number. When he got to the doorway, he stopped dead. He had never seen Janet look so small. Even in her worst moments, she was always a force to be reckoned with, but now… now she looked like a fragile doll and he was hit with a wave of sadness and anger, and for the first time in months, it wasn't directed at her.

Nick walked in and called Hannah's name. She looked up and wiped the tears out of her eyes. "Hey, guys. I'm really glad you're here." She led them outside the room and relayed all the information to them that the doctor had told her. She knew that Janet might not want Nick to know, but Hannah needed him to know so that he could calm Eddie down. Surprisingly, Eddie didn't blow; he simply walked back into the room and sat down in Hannah's vacated chair. Nick suggested he and Hannah go get some coffee and they left the two former lovers alone.

Eddie took Janet's hand and held it in his. Tears flowed down his face and he studied hers. He wanted so much to take her pain away. She didn't deserve this, no one did. Remebering that Hannah said it might help to talk, Eddie just started saying what was in his heart. "Hey, Janet. It's Eddie. I-I don't really know what to say, but I hope you can hear me. I know that we left things pretty badly, but I need you to know that I didn't mean it. I could never be over you. I could never want us to be over. I was just so angry."

Eddie lifted her hand and kissed the way she had kissed his when he was lying in a hospital bed. "I love you so much Janet and I'm sorry that I never told you. Maybe if I had, you never would have run to Rooster. You needed me then and I wasn't there. I get that now. I just couldn't take responsibility for what I had done. I couldn't admit that I had hurt you. Because—after the barbecue incident, I promised myself that I would never hurt you again and I couldn't face the fact that I had. I'm so sorry. Please, you have to wake up. I need to tell you so many things and I need you to tell me things too. Please—" Eddie broke off as the tears overwhelmed him. He couldn't process that his Janet wasn't going to wake up anytime soon. She wasn't going to smile at him or tell him she loved him too. Nothing was going to be ok until she did.

Twenty minutes later, that's how Hannah found him. His head was laying on Janet's bed, her hand clasped between both of his. He heard her come in and he lifted his head. "Hey, Hannah."

"Hey, visiting hours are almost over, and the doctor said only one person could stay with her past them. You can stay here if you want."

Eddie stood up and reluctantly let go of Janet's hand. "No, it should be you. After everything she's been through, she'll want you here when she wakes up." Both Hannah and Eddie refused to say 'if she woke up'. "Will you call me?"

"Of course." As Eddie walked past her, Hannah grabbed his arm. "She loves you, you know. Never stopped."

"I know, but sometime's love just isn't enough. You should know that most of all, Hannah Jane." With one final lingering look at Janet, Eddie left the room. He wanted nothing more than to just turn around, crawl into Janet's bed and hold her for dear life. Unfortunetly, that was no longer an option. With so much pain between them, his revelation of still being in love with her might have come far too late. Eddie walked out of the hospital and tried to ignore the feeling that he was walking out of Janet's life.


	11. Chapter 10 Janet Wakes Up

Chapter 10:

Chapter 10: Janet Wakes Up

Eddie woke up the next morning, groggy, eyes red from crying. He tried to tell himself that it was just a dream and that Janet was fine, but he knew it wasn't. Janet had been hurt in the vilest way possible and it was all his fault. He needed to get out of the house. He contemplated going back to the hospital but he felt that Janet probably wouldn't want him there, no matter how much Hannah argued to the contrary. 

Eddie got up and without getting dressed, walked down to the kitchen. Phil was there, making pancakes. The smell assaulted him, reminding him of good mornings past when he, Janet, Phil, and Pizza girl would get together for Saturday morning breakfast. Those days were long gone now, he was afraid. 

Phil looked up from the stove, sympathy in his eyes. "Hey, man. How's Janet?"

"Not good. She was still unconsciousness when I left and Hannah hasn't called since, so…" Eddie trailed off, unable to talk about it anymore. He felt like his heart was going to burst and he knew that he had never felt pain like this before; not when Nick left, not when his parents died, not even when Janet had told him she slept with Rooster. Nothing could compare to the fact that Janet was hurt and might never be the same.

Phil walked over to Eddie and put his hand on his shoulder. "Hey, if you need to talk, you know I'm here, right?"

Eddie nodded. "Yeah, just-just not now. I'm gonna go for a walk." Eddie went back upstairs to get dressed and ten minutes later, he was out on the streets walking aimlessly on the sidewalk. He wasn't sure where to go, just that he needed to walk. He needed to do something, like break something or someone. As if someone heard his desires, he ended up walking right up to Big Cat's office. Through the windows he saw Matt Lausch cleaning out his desk. Anger and hatred flowed through Eddie and he ran into the building.

Lausch saw Eddie coming but didn't make it away in time. Much like the Eddie had done with Big Cat the previous night, he slammed Lausch into the wall. "Did you do that to her?" Unlike last night, he wasn't yelling. The question came out in a deadly whisper that sent chills down Lausch's spine.

"Do what? To who?"

Eddie pushed him tighter to the wall. "Janet was found attacked last night. Raped. I know you hate me and would take it out on anyone. So did you hurt her?"

Lausch knew he should try to placate the man before he got killed but his pride wouldn't let him back down. "Janet the Planet? Now why would I do that? I don't want your sloppy seconds. Or should I say thirds? I mean, I did hear Rooster got his turn with her."

Eddie's jaw clenched and for the first time in his life he knew what it was like to want someone dead. It may have happened too if the door hadn't burst open then. "Eddie, Eddie! Man, let him go. We got this." Eddie barely registered the voice until he felt two pairs of arms pull him away. 

Steve hated this. He had dealt with a few sexual assaults before, what with the Ridge being a college town, but it had never involved people he knew before. Steve stepped in between Lausch and Eddie and tried to talk his friend down. "Listen, you don't need to do this. We got an anonymous tip and we're taking him in. Ok?" Eddie only eased up when he saw the cops that had pulled him off walk over to Lausch and handcuff him. "I just got a call. Janet's awake." Eddie's head snapped up at that. "You should go see her."

Eddie nodded and left quickly, ignoring the sounds of Lausch's protests. The only thought on his mind was getting to the woman he loved.

Back at the hospital, Janet was trying to stay awake. She felt so tired and even though she had technically been asleep for hours and hours, she felt like she needed more. The doctor and Hannah were in her room and he announced that the prognosis was good. She had a concussion, but that was the only major injury. They had never seen anyone bounce back so fast, and he said she was very lucky. He told her she needed to stay for a couple more days but could go home at the end of the week. 

After he left the room, Hannah sat back down beside the bed. "You had us all worried, honey."

"Sorry," she whispered. Her throat was sore from where her assailant grabbed her, but it was fading the more she talked. "I can't believe this. I never thought anything like this could happen to me, you know?"

"Yeah, but you're safe now." She started to say more when she noticed that Janet's attention was focused on the door. She turned her head and saw Eddie in the doorway. She smiled and turned back to Janet. "I'm gonna go see if it's ok if you eat something. I'll be back." Hannah left the room but the other two barely noticed. 

Eddie slowly walked in and sat in Hannah's chair. "Hi." He didn't really know what to say. 'Are you ok?' was a stupid question and proclaiming his undying love to her seemed like a really bad move right then.

"Hi. I'm surprised you're here." Janet really didn't want to bring up the other night, but she wasn't sure what to do. She didn't want Eddie here out of pity no matter how good it was to see him. 

"Yeah, I know. Janet, I'm sorry. I never should have left like that. It was stupid and selfish. You were just telling me how you felt that night and I didn't want to hear it. I was wrong. I'm so sorry."

Janet's eyes welled up but she refused to feel any hope. "You had every right to be mad. Still do. This," she gestured to herself, "doesn't change anything. You still have a right to hate me."

"You're right, I do have a right to hate you and this shouldn't change anything. But the thing is, Janet, it does. Because you're sitting here, hurt and bruised and battered and you're still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And for the life of me, I can't seem to find that anger I have been trying so hard to hold onto these past few months. And it's not because you're here. I mean, I knew the moment I walked out of your house that what my problem was."

"What was your problem, Eddie?" Janet braced herself. This conversation was so similar to the one they had in Sully's, what seemed like a lifetime ago. She didn't dare hope that it would end the same way, though.

"My problem was that, I was angry at myself. Still mad at you, sure, but madder at myself because I wanted to forgive you. My mind was saying that I should hate and punish you forever, but my heart was already on its way to letting you back in. I was fighting so hard against that, that I just couldn't admit to myself that I already had. And I do, I forgive you. I know it's a little too late, but there it is."

Janet started to cry. These words were what she had been dreaming of hearing for months and she couldn't enjoy them. She still loved Eddie but everything had changed now, despite her telling him it hadn't. 

Eddie hated to see her cry, especially knowing that they weren't happy tears. "Oh, Janet, please don't cry." He reached out to take her hand, but she flinched and quickly pulled it away. Hurt flashed across his eyes, but he pushed it aside. He knew she wasn't afraid of him, but after what she had been through, it was going to be awhile before she let any man touch her.

"I'm sorry, it's not you." Janet wiped the tears from her face. "I just—I just can't forget—" Sobs overcame her body and Eddie had never felt so helpless. He wanted nothing more than to wrap her up in his arms and never let her go, but he knew that wasn't an option anymore. 

Hannah had been waiting outside, far enough away that she didn't hear their conversation but close enough that she did hear her friend's gut-wrenching sobs. She ran into the room and pushed passed Eddie who looked like he had been about to leave and get help. She climbed onto the bed and pulled Janet into her arms. Eddie stammered something about leaving them alone and then walked out. Hannah just held her friend tight, rocking her gently like she used to do with Sam when he had nightmares and wished with all her might that she could take Janet's pain away.

Twenty minutes later, Janet had calmed down and was drinking some water the nurse had brought her. Hannah hadn't pressed her for information about her conversation with Eddie; she knew Janet would tell her when she was ready. They were just starting to talk about how Janet was going to stay with Hannah when she got out of the hospital when two policemen walked into the room.

"Ms. Meadow? We have a few questions if you're feeling up to it."

Hannah was about to protest, when Janet squeezed her hand. "It's ok as long as Hannah can stay?" The policewoman gave her a nod and so Janet began. Hannah held her hand tightly and fought back tears as she listened to her friend recount the most horrific thing that had ever happened to her. Suddenly all Hannah's problems seemed so insignificant and all the pain she had caused so stupid. Hannah vowed then and there to be a better friend and to do whatever it took to make things right in her world. She was pulled out of her thoughts by Janet saying Lausch's name.

"He whispered in my ear, 'You tell Latekka this is what happens when he messes with the wrong people.' I didn't see his face but I know that voice. It was Matt Lausch."

The officer nodded. "He was arrested earlier. We got a tip saying he was the man who attacked you. The doctor's got some DNA evidence from your initial exam so it shouldn't be that hard to compare it. I think we have all we need. We'll stop by if we need anything else." The two officers left, leaving Janet shivering on the bed. Hannah held her close and told her to try and rest. As she watched Janet doze off, she swore that she would no longer take what Ray said at face value. She new how close he and Matt were and if she found out he had anything to do with this, Eddie would be the least of his problems.

TBC…


	12. Chapter 11 Sometimes You Can't

Chapter 11:

Chapter 11: Sometimes you Can't Accept the Changes

A week later Janet was out of the hospital and settled into Hannah and Ray's place. Of course, her presence had initially made things a bit difficult for Ray and Hannah, but Ray had told her that he was the one who called in the anonymous tip that led to Matt's arrest. Janet believed him about this, but Hannah was still on her guard. She knew there were things that Ray wasn't telling her and she was determined to find them out. But content to know that he had nothing to do with what happened to Janet, she put all of her energy into taking care of her best friend.

Janet was having a hard time adjusting. She wasn't used to people doing things for her, but now she had no choice. Her head still hurt like a bitch and her arm was going to remain in the sling for at least another week. And of course there were the nightmares. She never woke up screaming and no one else in the house was disturbed. She was thankful for that because she would hate for Sam to hear her. She did however always wake up with a scream in her throat and bed soaked with sweat. She didn't remember the dreams when she awoke but she didn't need to really; the sheer terror she felt was enough to ensure she didn't go back to sleep.

At the moment she was feeling another type of sheer terror. She was late. She was always regular and was now five days late. She hadn't really thought about it until today and then she had panicked. Luckily Hannah was there and told her that everything would be all right. She had gone to the store and picked up a pregnancy test. Now she and Hannah were sitting in the guest room Janet was using, waiting for the results, and Janet was trying hard not to throw up.

"Janet, it's going to be ok. No matter what happens, you're not alone." Hannah knew her reassurances sounded hollow, but she didn't want Janet to freak out.

"Yeah," Janet's laugh was tinged with a bit of hysteria. "Everything's going to be great! I might be having a baby; a baby of the man who raped me! Nothing is going to be ok."

Hannah did what she had been doing for a week now, she held onto Janet as hard as she could. She hated knowing that someone had hurt her so badly and there was nothing to do. At that moment, the timer went off in the bathroom. Janet immediately tensed up and Hannah got up to go check. What she saw made her heart sink. This was bad.

Eddie hadn't seen Janet since the day she had woken up in the hospital. He had wanted to go to Hannah's so badly, but he still felt that he wouldn't be wanted. She had been through so much and he knew that dealing with him was the last thing she needed. Besides that, he still blamed himself for her situation and he didn't want her to think that he only wanted to be around her because of his guilt.

Now he was throwing himself into his work, trying hard not to think of her, but failing miserably. The door chimed then, providing him with the distraction he needed. He looked up and was surprised with who he saw. "Sam, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I came home from school and Mom and Janet were locked up in the room that Janet's staying in. Mom came out and told me to go to Doodie's house."

"Yeah, well why aren't you there?" Eddie was more than a little concerned. It was one thing for the girls to be locked up in a room; Janet might just be having a tough day, but for Hannah to tell Sam to leave and not make sure he got to his friend's house ok? That wasn't like Hannah at all.

"Doodie's not home. He and his parents went away for the weekend. I was just wondering if I could hang out here. I don't know what time Ray's going to be done with work.

"Yeah, Sam, you can stay here. I'm just doing paperwork but Nick'll be back soon." Sam didn't say anything else; he just went over to Nick's desk, sat down and began working on his homework. Eddie thought about calling Hannah, but decided to wait a couple of hours.

Nick sat in the waiting room at the lab; he had gotten a call saying that his test results were in and that he could come and pick them up. This was a huge moment and he wasn't sure what to do. He was torn between wanting Sam to be his so badly and wanting it not to be true. He didn't want Sam to think that he had abandoned him all those years ago or for Sam to hate Hannah. The more time that passed, the less he found himself blaming Hannah. She did what she felt was right for herself and her child and he couldn't fault her for that. He only hoped that Sam was not the one to pay the ultimate price.

"Mr. Garrett?" Nick looked up and saw a lab technician in front of him. "Here are your test results. I hope you get the outcome you want." With that, the tech handed him an envelope and walked off. With trembling hands, Nick turned the envelope over and over in his hands, until he finally gathered the courage to open it. Taking out the paper and unfolding it, Nick read the results that could change his life. When he read the final sentence, his world stopped.

Eddie had tried calling Hannah, but to no avail. He was getting really worried, for her and Janet, so he decided to close up the shop earlier and head over there. He had also tried to call Nick to tell him what went on, but he wasn't answering his phone either. Only wanting to deal with one crisis at a time, Eddie drove Sam to his house and they walked in. It was eerily quiet but Sam immediately headed upstairs. "They were in Janet's room up here. I'll show you." Eddie walked upstairs and went to the room Sam pointed out.

"Hey, listen, buddy, why don't you hang out in your room for a bit, ok?" Sam just nodded; he was used to being sent out of the room when the adults wanted to talk. After Sam had shut himself in his room, Eddie knocked lightly on the door. "Hannah, Janet? You in there?" He waited a few seconds and then heard someone moving around on the other side.

The door opened to reveal a disheveled Hannah. "Eddie. What are you doing here?"

"Sam dropped by the shop, said that you told him to go to his friend's house but his friend's not there. He said something was wrong with Janet. Is she ok?"

Hannah stepped into the hall, shutting the door, but not all the way. "I really appreciate you looking after Sam. I can't believe I just sent him away; I just didn't want him to see her like this. As for Janet… no not really. I don't think she's up to seeing anyone right now. Maybe—"

Hannah was interrupted by Janet's muffled voice. "It's ok Hannah, I want to see him." Hannah looked surprised, but stepped aside and Eddie walked in. What he saw made his heart physically ache.

Janet's bruises had started to fade to a yellow, but her face was so pale that they stood out more than they had the day she was attacked. Her eyes were red and puffy from what looked like hours of crying and she was shaking like a leaf. "Janet, baby, what's wrong? Did something else happen?" The term of endearment rolled off his tongue like it had never left, but neither even noticed.

"Yeah, something else happened." Janet held out her hand, indicating for him to sit. He sat down on the edge of the bed, but didn't get to close for fear of alarming her. He had so many questions, but decided to let her tell him at her own pace. "I-I was late, Eddie." At his confused look, she rolled her eyes. Men never seemed to get it. "My period, I was late. I'm never late and then I got really scared. I haven't had sex since—that night and then with Lausch. I told Hannah and she got me a test. Oh, god, Eddie, I'm pregnant and it's his. It's that bastard's and I don't know—" Janet broke off, sobs wracking her body.

Eddie was overwhelmed, he didn't know what to say. He did the only thing he could do; he reached out and took her hand in his. Unlike the last time he did that, she didn't flinch. Instead, she crawled over to him and, knowing what she wanted and what he wanted too, he took her into his arms. He had no idea how to comfort her, had no idea how to react in a situation like this. All he could do was hold this woman, the strongest woman he knew, and hoped that his presence would give her some amount of reassurance.

Twenty minutes later, Janet's breathing evened out and he knew from experience that she had fallen asleep. He cradled her in his arms and then gently laid her flat. Eddie softly reached out and brushed the hair back from her face. In that moment, he realized that he truly had forgiven all her transgressions. He wasn't just thinking about it, or working towards it, he had forgiven her. All he wanted the most in this world was for her to smile, for her to be happy again. The depth of his love for her hit him like a ton of bricks and he vowed to do whatever she needed and help her with whatever. He knew that in her life, she hadn't been able to count on many people, but from then on, she could count on him.


	13. Chapter 12 The Next Step

Chapter 12

Chapter 12: The Next Step

Janet sat in the doctor's office, waiting for her to come back with the test results. Hannah had come with her but had gotten a call from Sam's school and had to go. She said she would call Pizza Girl to come and give her a ride. Janet didn't really care at the moment; all that mattered was getting conformation that she was pregnant. She still wasn't sure how she felt. She had come to accept that she was probably going to have a baby, but the idea was still so scary and foreign to her that she didn't know what to do. She was almost sad that Eddie wasn't here.

Last night had been so terrifying and yet so amazing at the same time. When the test came back positive, she had been so scared and then Eddie was there. He was there and he was holding her and she wasn't scared anymore. She was sad and hurt and wondering how in the hell she was going to do this, but as long as she was in his arms, she wasn't scared anymore. She really wished she was in his arms now.

Her thoughts were interrupted by her doctor coming in. "Hey, Janet. Sorry to keep you waiting so long. I have your test results." Janet nodded, waiting for her to continue. "It looks like the home pregnancy test was a false positive. You're not pregnant."

The breath Janet hadn't realized she was holding flew out of her lungs in a rush. "Wow. Are you sure? I mean, what would cause that."

"I'm positive. We ran the test twice. Numerous things can cause it; expired pregnancy test, waiting too long to look at the results, but I don't see anything physically wrong with you to cause it." Dr. Barnes had been her gynecologist for years now and was aware of the recent injuries she had sustained. "How are you doing otherwise?"

"Loaded question. I feel better physically. My arm's not hurting so much anymore and other 'areas' are better. Other than that, I just take it one day at a time. But this- I mean, I had resigned myself to being pregnant. I guess this is good news. I'm not sure."

Dr. Barnes hated to see her friend and patient hurting. "There are some groups you can go to. People you can talk to. Here are some cards and if you decide to go, let me know and I'll refer you."

Janet took the cards, grateful for the concern, but knowing that she wasn't quite ready to discuss what happened with anyone just yet. "Thank you. So, um, is that it? Can I go?"

"Yep. That's all. Also, the nurse said that someone is here for you. They're in the waiting room." Janet shook hands with the doctor and walked out, assuming she would see Pizza Girl. What she saw gave her pause.

Eddie had gotten a call from Pizza Girl about an hour ago asking him if he could pick Janet up from her doctor's appointment. He hadn't hesitated to agree, but he wondered if he would be welcome. He was afraid that things would be awkward after last night. After she had fallen asleep, he had wanted nothing more than to lay down with her and hold her in his arms all night, but he knew it was a bad idea. They were not even close to being ready for that again and he didn't even know if she would be open to the idea of trying to work things out. So much had changed in the last three months and all he could hope for now was to try and renew their friendship.

When he saw her come out of the exam room, he had so many questions, but he decided to let her take the lead. From the look on her face, she was most surprised that he was even here in the first place. "Hey, Pizza Girl couldn't make it and asked me to come. I hope that's ok. I don't want to make you uncomfortable…" Eddie trailed off, unsure of what to say. It was so unlike him to be at a loss for words around women but this woman in particular never failed to tie him in knots.

"Eddie, its fine. Thank you. Can we talk in the car?" Eddie nodded and led her out to his truck. Once seated inside, he waited for her to start. "So, I'm not pregnant."

Eddie's heart lifted though he hadn't even realized there had been a weight on it. He was happy that Janet wasn't having a baby for reasons that he really didn't want to analyze right now. This was about her and he had no idea what was going on in her mind. "Is that a good thing?"

"Yeah, I guess. I mean, I don't really want to have a baby and wonder if he's going to look like the man that raped me or to have my child know that he was conceived from such a horrible act. It's what's best, I know that." Janet looked so lost and Eddie hated seeing her like this. "It's just- I love kids and the thought of having one of my own, no matter how he came to be in this world, is such a nice thought. It's stupid."

Eddie reached out his hand to tilt her head up, the back of his mind cheering that she no longer flinched at his touch. "No, it's not stupid. You will make a wonderful mother, Janet. I know that. It will happen for you; how could it not? You're amazing."

Janet started to cry. This man, whom she had hurt so badly, was being so kind and wonderful and she hated that she was so weak right now. She wanted him to be in her life again but the sudden thought that he might just be here because he pitied her was a thought she didn't wish to entertain. Tears clouded her eyes and she felt, rather than saw, Eddie's strong arms pull her close. She wrapped her arms around him, buried her face in his chest and cried. She cried for the baby that had never existed, the injustice that she had suffered, and the feeling that when this was over and she started to heal, Eddie would no longer be around. **Little did she know that all Eddie was thinking of was how he planned on being by her side for as long as she would have him.**

Nick had left a message for Hannah to call him as soon as she could. His entire world had changed because of one piece of paper and now he needed to talk to her about it. Sam was his son. Huh. It was a thought that had occurred to him from the moment he knew Sam was Hannah's but seeing the proof in black and white was something else altogether. Everything was different and he didn't know where to start. He had to tell Hannah and they would have to tell Sam. Gavin would have to be told and oh man, when they tell Ray, there is going to be some fireworks. Nick already knew there was no way in hell he would sign off of Sam's adoption but he also knew that Ray would fight him every step of the way. Ultimately it would be Sam's decision and he hoped that they could decide as a family.

Family. That was a word he had associated with a number of people over the years. He had obviously had his mom, had his dad and brother and they were his biological family that he loved very much. But he also had the guys. They were the family he had chosen, his brothers, and he wouldn't trade that family for anything. And for a time, Hannah had been his family too, and now he had a son with her and they were suddenly a family again. It was a lot to take in and he hoped he was up for the job. Becoming an insta-dad was not something he had seen coming but as he thought about how amazing Sam was, he knew it was a challenge he welcomed.

Eddie pulled up in front of Hannah's house, and put the truck in park. "Do you need me to stay with you until Hannah comes home?"

Janet rubbed her eyes while considering his words. Her tears had dried, but her face was red and she felt so drained. She didn't need him to stay as she would probably just fall asleep, but his presence the night before had ensured her a good night's sleep. "No, its ok, Hannah should be back soon."

Eddie didn't want to leave her so he tried a different tack. "Do you want me to stay?"

The question surprised her. He had told her he had forgiven her and wasn't mad at her anymore, but she had refused to hope that there was anymore to it. "If you want to, you can. I might not be good company, though; I'm really tired."

"I don't mind. I've always liked watching you sleep." The last part was said quietly but Janet heard anyway and she felt a glimmer of hope flare inside her at his words.

"Ok." Janet paused, unsure of what to say. She wanted to be back with him, the way they were before, she had gone through so much and she wasn't ready to jump into anything. "Eddie, where do we go from here? I know what you said and it means so much, but I don't know if I can…" She trailed off, not really knowing how to continue.

Eddie reached over and took her hand. "Hey, I understand. And I want to try and get back to where we were, but I know it will take time, on both our parts. Right now, I just want to be here, around you, helping you. That's enough for me. Let's try friends now, working towards more."

Janet smiled a true genuine smile for the first time in a week. Knowing that he wanted the same thing she wanted but was willing to wait made her so happy. "That's great. You know I'm suddenly not that tired anymore. I know Hannah's got something in there we can eat."

"Sounds great." Eddie got out of the truck and rushed to the other side. He knew she hated being treated like a fragile doll but he had this overwhelming urge to take care of her. He wanted nothing more than to stay by side until she got better, but he knew she'd never allow it. Once he helped her inside, he told her to sit down. "I'll make something." At her skeptical look he continued. "Hey, I can cook you know. It's just that I've never had to; I've got my very own Stepford wife in Phil."

Janet laughed. "That's true. He cooks, he cleans, does your laundry. And he plays a mean tennis racket." Eddie grinned, glad they were still able to joke around with each other. "So, what are you going to make me?"

"Well, let's see what Miss Hannah Jane has here. Hamburger, chicken, steak. What sounds good to you?" Eddie asked as he rifled through the freezer.

"Well steak sounds nice, but I don't think Ray would take too kindly to you using his grill, so how about chicken."

"Chicken it is. I can make a baked potato too if you want."

"Sounds yummy. You know, I like that you cook. I may have to keep you around." Janet grinned, a twinkle coming back into her eyes.

Eddie smile back. "I think that can be arranged." The next hour was spent with Eddie cooking and talking to Janet. It was like nothing had changed; no break-up, no attack, no nothing. They were talking like they had before they had started dating. Easy companionable conversation interspersed with bouts of silence as each got last in their own thoughts. When they sat down to eat at Hannah's large dining room table, Eddie was struck with the feeling of how night it was. They were still far from where they had been, but it didn't matter. They would get there, of that Eddie was more sure of than ever.


	14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Chapter 13

A/N: This chapter has a surprising lack of Janet/Eddie. I just wanted to continue with the other storylines I had going on and it kind of got away from me.

The day after Nick had found out that Sam was his son was no clearer than the first. All he knew was that the sooner he talked to Hannah the better. She had called and was on her way over. He knew she probably suspected he results but he still wanted to tell her face to face. As if on cue, the doorbell rang and he went to let Hannah in. Once seated on the couch, Nick just got to it. "Sam's my son. The test was pretty conclusive.

Hannah paused. She had always thought that Sam was Nick's but here it was, finally out in the open. She had so many things running through her head, but she said the first thing that came to her. "Nick, I'm so sorry. I know not telling you was wrong."

"Hey, listen, we all do things we regret. I can't fault you for doing everything in your power to protect Sam. Truth is, I don't know what kind of father I would have made and 18."

Hannah smiled. "You would have made a wonderful father; you still will."

Nick smiled back. "Thanks. That means a lot. So when do you think we should tell Sam?"

"Um, in a couple of days. We can do it after he gets home from school. I know that I've made you wait ten years for this but there are a few people I need to tell first. And no, Ray's not one of them." Hannah paused, knowing that a certain subject needed to be broached. "Listen, I know you said no to Ray adopting Sam-"

Nick stopped her, thinking she was going to try to talk him out of it. "No, no way." Nick stopped, trying to get his anger under control. "I just found out I have a son, and I am not going to just hand him over to someone else!"

Hannah put up her hand to stop him. "I was going to say that I know you said no to Ray adopting Sam and I think it's a good idea. Sam is going to have a lot to deal with and he doesn't need two people fighting over custody of him."

Nick sat back, surprised that he didn't have to put up much of a fight. "Oh, thanks. I just really want to make this right with him. He's a good kid and I want to be a good dad."

"You will be. Listen, I'll call you tomorrow and we'll talk about when we're going to tell him. I have to get going. I really am sorry Nick."

Nick nodded. He wanted so much to stay angry at her but couldn't. The way he saw it, he was coming out all right. He was gaining a son, and Gavin was about to lose one. He respected Hannah's wishes and agreed. Hannah then left, leaving Nick to face the full impact of fatherhood. It sure was turning out to be one hell of a day.

Hannah walked up to Phil and Eddie's house, dreading the conversation about to take place. She was secretly thrilled that Nick turned out to be Sam's dad, but she knew Phil would be disappointed anyway. Ringing the doorbell anyway, Hannah waited patiently. Pizza Girl opened the door and Hannah smiled tightly. "Hey. Can I Phil talk?"

"Sure, he's in the living room. Nick got his results huh?" Hannah let out a deep breath. She was relieved that Phil had told his girlfriend. He needed someone he could confide in. "Yeah. I just got back from talking to him." Hannah started to walk in when Phil showed up at the door.

"Hannah, hi. So what's the verdict?"

Hannah could tell he wanted the news quick so she just blurted out, "You're not the dad, Phil. I'm sorry."

Phil's face remained stoic, an awesome feat for someone who usually showed all his emotions all the time. Without another word, he turned around and headed up the stairs.

Pizza Girl turned to Hannah and apologized. "He's not mad at you, I don't think. He'll be ok. Thanks for coming by and telling him in person. It means a lot."

Hannah nodded and then headed back to her car. One person to tell down, so many more to go.

Inside the house, Pizza Girl climbed the stairs to see Phil sitting in the chair by his bedroom window staring out. Knowing he wasn't ok, she said, "Hey, tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

"I don't know. I guess it's for the best. I'm not ready to be a dad. It's just, he's such a great kid and for a brief time, it was possible he was mine. I feel like I lost something even though it was never mine. I feel like I lost something even though it was never mine to begin with."

Pizza Girl knelt down in front of him and took his hand in hers. "It's ok to feel that way. I know you were already thinking about what it would be like to be his dad and now it won't happen with him. But it will happen someday with someone else. You will make a great dad."

Phil scoffed. "Yeah, who would want to have a creepy shut-in's kids?"

Pizza Girl smiled. "Me." Phil's head shot around to stare at her. "And not just any creepy shut-in; I only have eyes for one."

"You-you want to have kids with me?" Phil couldn't believe it. How had be ever gotten so lucky as to find someone like her."

Pizza Girl laughed. "Well not this moment, but yeah, someday. "I love you Phil and when I think about my future I see you. Sometimes I think about what are kids would be like, but nothing concrete."

Panic rose in Phil but for an entirely different reason than most guys would have at finding out their girlfriend wanted kids. "I can't have kids. I can't live the house! I would not be good at all!"

Pizza Girl stood up and took Phil's face between her hands. "Phil, I am no where near ready to have a kid. And this agoraphobia; I don't believe it will last forever. Everyday you wok on it a little bit more and I know that when you put your mind to something, you do it. Don't worry, when I'm ready to have a kid, you'll be the first to know."

Phil smiled, relieved. He wanted to be with this woman forever and to know that she would stand by him through anything made him love her all the more. Now, he just had to figure out how to tell Nick about Hannah. He had seen what secrets did to their group and he wasn't gonna lie another day.

Janet woke up the next day to the sound of angry voices trying to be quiet. She didn't want to eavesdrop but when she heard her name she got up and walked into the hall. She could tell Ray was angry about something and Hannah was trying to calm him down.

"Look Hannah, I like Janet, I do, but how long is she gonna stay?"

"Excuse me, but it was your best friend that did this and while I don't believe you knew what he was going to do, you knew he was angry and that he would do something to hurt someone."

"Yeah but I thought he would hurt Latekka. Speaking of which, I don't want him in this house."

"You are unbelievable! You're saying that you would have been fine with Matt doing more damage to Eddie?" Not waiting for a response, she steamrolled on. "And this is my house too! Janet can stay as long as she wants and Eddie can come and go as she pleases."

Janet had heard enough and quickly went back to the guest room. She loved Hannah dearly but her relationship with Ray was strained enough and she didn't want to make it worse. She sat down on the bed, tears starting to well up in her eyes. She wasn't sure what to do. She knew that she couldn't stay here much longer but she also really didn't want to stay at her place alone. She picked up her cell phone and called the only person that she wanted to talk to. She waited for a few seconds and then the other end picked up.

"Hello?" Eddie's voice on the line did nothing to soothe her; instead it made her cry harder.

"Eddie? I'm really sorry to bother you, but I didn't know what else to do."

At Best Friend Windows, Eddie sat up straight in his chair, panic running through his body. Nothing failed to make him worry more than Janet crying. He would do anything to make her feel better but first he had to know what was wrong. "Janet, what's wrong? Did something happen?"

He could hardly hear her through her tears but he could make out a few words, "Ray and Hannah…doesn't want me to stay… have no where to go."

Anger flooded through Eddie. He wasn't sure of the whole story, but he had a feeling that Ray had something to do with it. All he could think of was getting to her. "Janet, baby, I'll be right there, ok? Don't go anywhere." After getting her agreement, he grabbed his coat and headed out the door. If he found out that Ray had done anything to hurt his Janet, he would kill him.

TBC…


	15. Chapter 14 Eddie to the Rescue

Chapter 14 Eddie to the Rescue

Eddie made it too Hannah's house in record time. He didn't even bother to knock, he just walked right in. Once inside the living room, he saw Ray and Hannah in the kitchen, neither looking very happy. Ray heard the door open and when he saw Eddie, his face went red. "Latekka! What the hell are you doing here, you can't just walk in here without knocking!"

Eddie didn't have time for this, he just wanted to find Janet and get her out of here. "I'm so sorry Big Cat," Eddie said sarcastically, "but when Janet calls me in tears, I want to get to here as soon as possible."

Hannah's eyes widened in surprise. "She was crying? Let me go check on her." Before Eddie could stop her, Hannah had already started for the stairs.

Eddie turned towards Big Cat, finally deciding to give him a piece of his mind. This was the first time they had been face to face since he had heard Janet had gotten attacked and Eddie felt anger well inside him, fresh and overwhelming. He went over to him and got in his face. "Listen to me, I know that you didn't have anything to do with what happened to Janet, but if you hadn't been so hell-bent on ruining Nick's life, Laucsh never would have gone after her. The least you could do is play the nice caring fiancée of the best friend. You owe Janet that much; God knows you owe Hannah that too. Now, I'm gonna get Janet out of here because she doesn't need to put up with your bullshit, but do me a favor and stay away from her." Not giving Ray a chance to answer, Eddie headed upstairs. He got to the top and Hannah came out of Janet's room.

"I'm really sorry. I didn't know that Janet had heard. I was trying to tell Ray that she could stay but he wouldn't listen. She told me that she wanted to leave. I couldn't talk her out of it."

Eddie simply nodded and headed into the room. He shut the door behind him, his heart constricting as he took in the state of the woman on the bed. "Hey, I came as soon as I could."

She looked up, eyes red from crying. "I'm sorry, I didn't know who else to call."

Eddie sat down and brushed the hair back from her face. "Don't worry about it. You can call me anytime about anything. Do you want to get out of here?"

"Yeah, I just don't know where to go. I don't want to be alone. It's so stupid. I'm 29 years old and I'm afraid to be by myself."

"It's not stupid. Listen, I've been thinking about it. I'd invite you back to my house but there are so many people in and out of there all day, you'd never get any sleep. How about I take you back to your house and I'll sleep on the couch or something."

Janet looked at him in surprise. She hadn't thought he would ever want to set foot in her house again let alone stay there for days at a time. But she was so exhausted and stressed that she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. "Sure, that sounds great. I need to get my stuff ready. Do you want to go get some clothes from your house?"

"Yeah, I'll be back in about an hour. It's gonna be ok, Janet. I'm not going to leave you alone." His arms itched to hug her, but fought the urge and instead squeezed her hand and then left. As he walked back downstairs he noticed that Big Cat was no longer there. Hannah however was sitting on the couch, a dejected look on her face.

Hannah looked up as Eddie came downstairs. "Eddie, I'm so sorry. I really didn't know that she would hear. I don't want her to leave, but it would probably be best if she's not around Ray."

"I don't get it Hannah. You're such a strong woman, independent, fierce; why would you stay with Ray when you know that he's done some really bad things?"

Hannah stared at him. "I love him. And no matter what he's done, shouldn't I stand by him, love him the same way he loves me?"

Eddie nodded. "Yeah, I understand that and I could believe that and the thing is, I think that he does love you; I mean, I've been here from the first moment you guys got together. He's always been good to you and Sam. But the thing is, the moment Nick came back into town, Ray has been hell bent on coming out on top, whether it's in business or in relationships. The minute Nick came back, Ray started treating you like a prize to be won and that's not good. You are so much better than that, Hannah Jane. Just think about it." Eddie hoped that she would. They had they differences, but she was a good person and deserved better than Ray. "Listen, I'm gonna go take care of a few things and then I'm coming back to get Janet. Don't make this any harder on her, ok?"

Hannah nodded. "Yeah, ok. I hear you Eddie and thanks." Eddie left her to her thoughts, and man, did she have a lot to think about. Pushing her problems to the side, she decided to put her friend first. Walking up the stairs, she hoped that she could convince Janet that she did not agree with Ray in this case.

* * *

Eddie rushed into his house after speeding to get there. He just wanted to get his stuff and get back to Janet as soon as possible. He walked into the house and was greeted by Phil. "What's going on man?"

"I'm going to stay at Janet's for a few days. Big Cat's being an ass and she needs to get out of Hannah's house and she doesn't want to be alone."

Phil nodded. "Sounds like a good idea."

Eddie noticed that his voice sounded a little uncertain. "What, you really don't think it's a good idea?"

"No, no, it's not that. It's just that can you stay there knowing what happened? Not that I don't want you to help Janet, it's just that I don't want to get mad while you're there and upset her."

Eddie stopped for a second. The truth was, he hadn't thought about what happened with Rooster at all that morning. When she had called that morning all he could think about was her. He offered to stay at her house solely because he thought it would be the most comfortable for her; it never even occurred to him that she had been there with Rooster not so long ago. Eddie smiled to himself; maybe he was really getting past it. "Thanks Phys, I appreciate the concern, but I think I'll be ok. Honestly, I just want to help Janet. I can put aside all my issues right now and make this just about her. It's not really a hardship."

Phil slapped Eddie on the back. "You're a good guy. Well, since you're not going to be around for the next couple of days, maybe I should call Pizza Girl and make full use of my alone time."

Eddie rolled his eyes. "Hey, staying with Janet is looking better and better by the minute. I can actually get a good night's sleep without you two making such a racket." Eddie laughed as he watched his friend's face get red. Phil and his girl didn't actually make all that much noise, but it was pretty funny to see him get embarrassed. Remembering why he had come by the house, Eddie shook his head and headed upstairs. He gathered some clothes and toiletries into an overnight bag. He wasn't sure how long he was going to stay but he could always come back for more. He quickly left, hoping to avoid Phil and anymore inquisition he may have. All he wanted to do was get back to Janet and get her home.

Once back at Hannah's, he found Janet sitting on the living room couch. "Hey, Janet, you ready?"

"Yeah, I think I have everything." Janet got up and swayed a little bit. Eddie rushed over to her and grabbed her good arm. Janet leaned on him for support and smiled. "Thank you. And I don't mean just for keeping me off the ground. Thank you for staying with me. I know it's asking a lot, but being alone right now is kind of scary."

Eddie reached his arm around her waist in an effort to keep her from falling but also because he just really wanted her in his arms again. "It's no problem. I really don't mind. Now come on, let's go home."

Janet felt a spark of pleasure go through her at the sound of him saying home and not 'your home', but tried not to get her hopes up. It was enough that he was willing to stay with her and that's all she needed right now. Janet leaned on Eddie some more as they headed out to his truck to go home.

TBC...


	16. Chapter 15 A New Roommate

Chapter 15

Chapter 15- A New Roommate

Eddie gathered her stuff out of his truck and walked with her to the door. After walking into the house, he felt himself stop a little in hesitation. He hadn't been in this house since their fight two weeks ago when he told her it was over between them. He wished he could take that conversation back, but at the same time, he knew that the things they said needed to be said. He just hated knowing he had hurt her so much. He was drawn out of his thoughts by Janet trying to lift her suitcase. He quickly went over to her and took it. "What are you doing? You shouldn't lift anything with that arm."

Janet looked embarrassed. "I need it in my room and I didn't think you would want to go in there."

For a second he was confused. Why would he not want to go in there? They had so many great memories in that room. Then it hit him; she had slept with Rooster in her bed. It was funny; he knew she'd slept with him, but he hadn't really made the connection that it would be in her bed. Feeling the familiar wave of pain rise in his stomach, he quickly pushed it aside. "It's ok, Janet. I'm a big boy, I can handle it." He lifted her suitcase and walked over to her room. Once in the door, he stopped, images of himself and Janet flooding his system. He remembered the first time they made love and all the other times after. Something was different though and he couldn't quite figure out what it was. As if reading his mind, Janet walked up behind him.

"It's a new mattress and bedding," she said quietly. "I just couldn't… I came back from the hospital the day we broke up and couldn't stand to be in here, let alone sleep in the bed. I called the furniture place in town and they delivered a mattress the next day. Truth is, even with that I've been sleeping in the guest room. Too many bad memories."

Eddie was silent. Knowing she had spent what was probably a lot of money for a new mattress meant a lot, but her last sentence got him. 'Too many bad memories.' The fact that one horrible night erased all the wonderful memories they had hurt more than he was willing to say. He truly felt that he had forgiven her, but standing here in her bedroom, knowing he wasn't going to sleep with her tonight, made it hard for him to forget. He heard her walk past him into the bathroom and realized he had been silent for a while. He didn't want her to think he was mad because he really wasn't; he was just sad. It felt like so many memories and good times had been washed away and he didn't know if they would ever get them back. A smile spread across Eddie's face as a thought occurred to him. No one said anything about not making new ones. Maybe this new bed was a good omen. Making new things like memories was a good thing; they were both different people and growing together rather than apart was a good idea.

Eddie put the suitcase down beside her dresser and was about to walk out when he heard something that sounded like sobs coming from the bathroom. He knocked gently, "Janet, are you ok?" He didn't hear her say anything, just her cries getting louder. "Janet, please open the door. You're scaring me." A few seconds passed and then he heard the lock on the door turn. He opened the door and was greeted with a sight that clenched his heart. Janet was sitting on the toilet seat, tears running down her face. "Janet, talk to me."

Janet looked up at him, tears blurring her vision. She hated this. She shouldn't have asked him here, but she hadn't wanted to be alone. Now he had been faced with everything she had done and there was no way he would be able to stay. "You must hate me." She didn't want to rehash this but it needed to be addressed. "Everything… I'm so sorry. Please… just- don't hate me." She didn't even know what she wanted to say. There were so many things she wanted him to know and not one of them felt like enough. He deserved so much better than her and she was so afraid that the longer he stayed, the more she would fall for him all over again; and then when he finally realized that she wasn't good enough for him, he would leave and it would hurt so much worse.

Eddie knelt down in front of her and gently wiped the tears from her face. It hurt him so much to see her like this and he would have done anything to make the pain go away. "Janet, listen to me. I could never hate you, not matter what you've done. I-" He was about to say he loved her but thought it might be too soon so instead he said, "I care about you so much and nothing will change that."

Janet looked him in the eye. "But you were so mad and you still are. I say you when you looked at the bed. How can you sit here like this knowing what I've done?"

"Janet, I was mad, so painfully mad that I thought I would never get over it. But I did. I'm not mad anymore, I promise. Out there, I was sad. It still hurts, I can't lie and say that it doesn't, and when I saw that room, the pain came back. It hurts that all the memories we had were wiped out because of that night. It hurts that everything we shared didn't amount to anything because at the end of the day we didn't trust each other. I didn't trust you enough to tell you about Rory and you didn't trust me enough to talk to me. But then I realized that no matter what happened, I can't shake you. You are a part of me and the feelings I have aren't going anywhere."

Eddie sighed after that speech. He had been hoping that all the serious relationship stuff could wait, but she needed to know what she meant to him. "I know you Janet, and what you did was so completely out of character that I know something must really have been wrong in your mind for you to do that. I hope that when you're feeling better and the nerves aren't so raw, we can talk this through more. I want to start over and the only way to forgo making the same mistakes is to learn from them and to do that, we need to talk about them. And we will. We need to be honest with each other and you need to know that I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me, Meadows, whether you like it or not."

Janet was stunned. She knew that he wanted to try again, but they had agreed to go slow and she had prepared herself for him realizing that he didn't want her ever again. It finally hit her that he wanted her, the same way she wanted him, and it was overwhelming. The only thing she thought to do was throw herself in his arms and hug him close. "Thank you," she whispered into his neck. "I'm really glad you don't hate me."

Eddie huffed out a laugh. Most people would be hurt that a declaration of feeling that was met with that line but not Eddie. He knew everything that went unsaid, everything that Janet was afraid to say yet. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her hair. He loved this woman and someday, he would get her to understand that. For now, though, it was enough that they were able to hold each other like this, it was enough that they knew this feeling wasn't going to fade, and that neither would leave anytime soon. He hated to see her cry so he tried to alleviate the tension. "As much as I enjoy having you in my arms again, I'm not as young as I used to be and my knees are starting to hurt." His mission was accomplished when he felt her body shake, this time in laughter.

Janet pulled away from him, drying her tears and laughing. "Sorry. Thank you again. You're pretty amazing, you know."

Eddie smiled. "Yeah, I have been told that. Listen are you hungry? I could make you something."

"Actually, I really just want to take a bath. I feel nasty."

Eddie wanted to tell her that she was anything but nasty, but didn't want to break this easy conversation they had established. "Ok, well, I'll leave you to it. Call me if you need anything."

Eddie left the bathroom, smiling when he heard the water run. He knew how much she loved baths; she said they relaxed her more than anything, well except for sex with him. Eddie sat down on the bed and bounced a little. It was a pretty good mattress and the part of his brain that was sex-deprived couldn't help but think about how nice it would be to test that puppy out. He hadn't slept with anyone since he and Janet broke up and at times he was hard enough that he felt like he would drill through his pants.

Of course, thoughts of the two of them in bed led to thoughts of her naked in the bath. He lay back on the bed, arms under his head, eyes closed and he let his imagination drift. Thoughts of clear warm water dripping down Janet's front, beads clinging to her breasts, Eddie leaning forward to catch them with his tongue before they fell into the tub flitted through his mind. Imaging Janet taking a loofah to her most intimate parts gave way to images of him shoving that loofah aside and touching her with his bare hands. Knowing she was just behind the door, naked and beautiful with nothing but sheer willpower keeping them apart was enough to make him pant with need.

Eddie took a couple of breaths trying to get himself under control, but was failing miserably. He knew the only way he would be able to concentrate is if she got out of the tub and he could be distracted from the thoughts of her in it. That plan sounded good until he heard Janet call to him from the bathroom. Afraid she had hurt herself, he rushed in without a thought to decorum. When he opened the door, what he saw made him go from semi-hard to hard as granite in 1.6 seconds. She was sitting in the tub, leaning back, injured arm resting on the side in a way that made her breasts rise above the water. He took a few gulping breaths and tried to talk himself down. 'Pull yourself together, Latekka. This is about Janet, not your libido.' Out loud, he said, "Are you ok? Did you need something?"

Janet blushed and tried to cover herself up. "Yeah. I can't lift my arm up to wash my hair and it really needs it. Would you mind?"

Would he!? It took all Eddie had not to jump and down in boyish glee. Instead he said, with a calm he certainly didn't feel, "Sure. No problem."

Eddie walked over and knelt by the tub. His knees would hate him later, but right now, there was no other place he would rather be. Janet leaned forward so that he could get to the back of her head, but it also served to cover up her front. He tried not to show his disappointment and instead focused on the task at hand. Her hair was already wet so he took her shampoo from the rack by the tub and squeezed some onto his palm. The scent of vanilla assaulted his nostrils and brought back so many memories. Vanilla was such a simple scent but on Janet it was pure sex appeal and he loved it. He lathered it up and gently worked it into Janet's hair. He took time to massage her scalp as well knowing that she was under a lot of stress and that always led to headaches with her.

Janet groaned as she felt his hands gently knead her head. She loved it so much when he gave her massages. It was some how always more intimate than the sex because Eddie always got physical gratification with sex but not always with massages. More often than not, Janet would fall asleep after one of his rub-downs and Eddie didn't find release. He always made it about her and her comfort and pleasure; he would map out her entire body under his fingertips and no one had ever done that. She had come to realize through these intimate encounters that he truly loved to touch her body; he new it better than she did and it made her feel so special.

At Janet's moan, Eddie closed his eyes in pleasurable pain. She honestly had no idea what she did to him. Her sounds and movements were heaven and hell wrapped in one. Heaven because he knew she was enjoying it and it made him happy to be touching her again; hell because he couldn't do anymore than this, at least not yet. Once Eddie was satisfied that her hair was clean enough, he took a plastic cup from the sink and dipped it in the water. He spent the next several minutes rinsing out her hair and then reached for the conditioner.

"You don't have to do that if you don't want." Janet didn't want him to have to stay here any longer than he wanted to. She wasn't sure how this was making him feel and if he was uncomfortable, she didn't want to make him stay.

"It's no problem. I know your hair mats without it as you have told me time and again. I really don't mind." Not taking no for an answer he quickly rubbed in the conditioner and rinsed it out. He didn't want her to think that he wanted to hightail it out here, but being in here with her and not being able to touch anything more than her head was driving him insane. "Ok, you're all done," he said when the last of the conditioner was gone. He got up and started to leave when he saw the look of disappointment in her eyes. Hoping to make her feel better, he told her what was in his heart.

"You're still so beautiful Janet. No matter the scars or the time we've spent apart, you are still the most beautiful woman I know. And don't think for a second I don't want you. I do, more than anything, but I know you're not ready. So I'll wait until you are." With that, he left the bathroom and closed the door gently behind him.

Janet smiled broadly. She believed him. Not only was his tone incredibly sincere, but she had seen the evidence of his desire when he turned to talk to her. She carefully stepped out of the tub feeling better about herself than she had in a long time. As she dried off, she knew that things could only get better from here.

A/N: I feel like I rushed the ending but I needed to stop. Hope it was ok.


	17. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Janet walked out of the bathroom, relieved that Eddie wasn't in the bedroom anymore; he had even shut the door to give her some privacy. She gathered some clothes, just some sweats and a loose tank top. She felt lighter and happier than she had in a while. She was really glad that she and Eddie were going to start up their friendship again. She had always looked forward to the nights when Eddie would come in and see her at Sullys before closing. They would talk about everything and she valued his friendship. It was going to be great to have that again.

She walked out of the bedroom, deciding to let her hair air dry. It would probably frizz but she couldn't honestly bring herself to care. She didn't think that Eddie would really care either. Speaking of Eddie, she found him in the kitchen, head stuck in the fridge. "Whatcha doin', Eddie?"

Eddie heard her but didn't look up. "Woman, you have no food in here. I need to go shopping."

Janet nodded. "Yeah ok, I'll give you some money. Hang on."

Eddie stepped back. "No, don't worry about it…" He trailed off as he took in her appearance. She just had on sweats and tank top, hair wet and framing her face, but she still looked gorgeous. Trying to block out images of all the things underneath those clothes, he closed his eyes and shook his head.

Oblivious to his appraisal, Janet continued, "You've done enough Eddie; I can't let you pay for my groceries too. Damn, all I have is 40 in cash. I may need more than that."

Eddie pushed all his lascivious thoughts out of his head. "No problem. Just make a list and I'll get that and I then pick up some other stuff with my money. I mean, I am going to eat your food too."

Eddie walked over to get the cash only to have her pull it away. "Just remember, Eddie, fruit roll-ups do not count as fruit." Eddie smirked and grabbed the cash. He really didn't like shopping even though he did all of the grocery shopping at his shop; a necessity when one's roommate is a shut-in, but he hated it nonetheless.

Two hours later, list crumpled up in his back pocket, Eddie struggled to bring all the grocery bags inside. After some impressive manhandling, he managed to wrangle the bags into the house, only to find Janet asleep on the couch. He tried to shut the door quietly but he tripped and it slammed shut. Janet practically jumped off the couch in terror and Eddie laid the bags on the floor and rushed over to her. "Hey, it's ok, it's just me."

Janet breathed heavily as she struggled to get her heartbeat under control. Eddie sat beside her looking like he wanted to touch her but was afraid of how she would react. She reached over and took his hand, squeezing it in reassurance. "I'm ok, just jumpy lately."

"Understandable," he said, squeezing her hand in return. "Do you need anything?"

"No, I'll be fine." Janet took a few more deep breaths and then changed the subject. "So did you get anything good?"

Eddie knew she was trying to be strong, so he went along with her. "I got everything on your list, plus a few other things."

Janet eyed him suspiciously. "What other things?"

"Oh just some beer, some ice cream, and this," Eddie said as he pulled something from a bag beside him.

Janet squealed as he handed her a box of chocolates. They were her favorite from the candy shop in town but she rarely ever bough them for herself. "Thank you! They're great!" And like a little kid at Christmas, she ripped odd the packaging and dug in. "Do you want one?"

Eddie laughed, glad to see her so happy. "Not yet, maybe after lunch."

Janet shook her head. "Always so good. Well, I have no such scruples." She took one from the corner of the box, knowing it was almond nougat. She bit down and closed her eyes in pleasure.

Eddie was in hell. He was sure that's what this was because he was sitting beside the woman he loved while she had a seemingly orgasmic experience with a piece of chocolate that he so desperately wanted to be, and he couldn't touch her. He forced himself to look away from the tongue that was licking away all traces of chocolate from her lips and fingers and got up to get the groceries. "Do you mind pointing out where you want this stuff? It looked like you changed things around in there."

Janet reluctantly put the chocolates aside and went into the kitchen. "Yeah, I needed a change." Eddie understood that she meant after they had broken up and she changed a great deal about her life. He didn't say anything though; content to simply exist in this bubble of tenuous friendship. They spent the next fifteen minutes putting away groceries, Eddie re-learning Janet's house, hoping that he would be here for awhile.

As Janet was laughing at one of his purchase, yes, fruit roll-ups, the phone rang and she went into the other room to answer it. Eddie couldn't hear the conversation and didn't try; he didn't want to eavesdrop. When she came back, he asked who it was, assuming it was Hannah.

"Oh just Doug, he's a guy I work with. He wanted to know how I was doing and not to worry about work. They have it covered until I'm ready to go back."

"That's nice. Do like your new job?" He knew Janet worked at the bookstore near campus because that was where she had been attacked.

"Yeah I really do. The people there are great. I've had coffee with Doug a couple of times. He's a nice guy." Janet saw Eddie get really still. "What's wrong?"

Eddie took a deep breath. In all the turmoil of the past week, he had forgotten that he had seen Janet with another guy, but now it all came flooding back. He debated on whether or not to tell her about the girl he had turned too after seeing that, but he decided that he had to. They had messed up so much already because of secrets and he wasn't going to do it again. "This Doug, does he have dark hair, kinda tall?"

Janet raised her eyebrows. "Yeah. Eddie, have you been visiting bookstores?" Janet teased. She knew that he read quite often, but didn't like people to know lest it ruin his image.

"No, I-I saw you two having coffee. You seemed really happy."

Janet waved her hand in dismissal. "Yeah, like I said, he's a nice guy and a great listener. See, he had just gotten dumped by his fiancée and we spent the entire time, both times actually, talking about you and her. It was nice. I mean, Eddie, all my friends know you too so it's hard to get anyone to just listen without feeling sorry for me because I'm the fat girl who got rejected by the captain of the football team." She saw Eddie wince and her eyes widened. "Oh, Eddie, I'm sorry. I didn't say that to make you feel bad. It's just that I still feel like that sometimes."

Eddie didn't know what to say. There were so many things he needed her to know and he wasn't sure where to start. Addressing the last things she said seemed like a good place as any. "Here, come sit down. He led her to the couch and sat down beside her. "Now, I need to say some things and I need you to just listen, ok? No interrupting or I'm afraid I won't get it all out." Janet nodded and waited for him to continue. "Ok, about what I said in the hospital room, I didn't mean it." True to her word, Janet didn't say anything although she did look confused.

Eddie tried to find the right words. "When you told me you slept with Rooster, I can't remember ever feeling that hurt or betrayed. Not when Nick left and didn't come back or when Ikey slept Allison, never. So I took what your greatest insecurity and threw it in your face. But it wasn't the captain of the football team rejecting you, Janet. I haven't been that guy in over ten years. It was just me, hurting beyond belief, pushing away the woman I had grown to care for so much. I needed to hurt you as much as you hurt me and I succeeded. But I'm not proud of it and it didn't feel good. Because you are such an amazing woman and you made a mistake. You're not a whore who will sleep with anyone that comes along. I know that and I'm truly sorry for making you feel that way."

Janet started to cry at his words. Knowing that he forgave her was one thing but realizing that he still thought she was a decent person meant so much. She had lost so much after that night with Rooster but the one thing that she had lost that meant the most to her was her self-respect. That speech by Eddie started to give it back.

Eddie reached up and brushed away her tears. "Hey, don't cry. That was supposed to make you happy."

Janet smiled. "It did, more than you know."

Eddie cringed inwardly. He had more to say and he was sure that it wouldn't make her happy. "There's more." Janet braced herself, knowing this would be bad.

TBC...


	18. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Eddie took a deep breath and continued on, hoping that he wouldn't hurt her too much. "Ok, when I saw you with that guy, Doug, you looked so happy, like you had finally moved on. You were smiling with him like you used to smile with me. It hurt a lot and I didn't know what to do, so the next day, I went out and got drunk." Janet's eyes widened as if she knew where this was going and she probably did. She had been witness to many of his drunken pick-ups and she probably guessed what had happened next.

Before he could continue, however, she said, "I know. I'm sorry, I know I said I wouldn't interrupt but I know what happened. Rooster saw you leave wit her and couldn't wait to tell me. It's ok, you had every right to move on."

Eddie sighed. Leave it to that chicken-faced bastard to hurt her like that. "That's the thing. I didn't move on, I didn't even sleep with her. I had planned on it, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't stop thinking about you and I passed out at her place. She was surprisingly understanding."

Janet was overwhelmed by everything he had just said. She had no right to judge him or be angry or have any emotion, really, concerning him and another girl but couldn't stop the flood of tears that fell. Eddie looked pained at seeing her cry and she didn't know how to reassure him that she was ok. She finally pulled herself together, long enough to say, "Thank you."

Eddie looked at her, confused, "What for?"

"Everything. Thank you for telling me, thank you for me, thank you for not sleeping with her even though it's none of my business who you sleep with. And thank you for caring."

Eddie smiled. "First of all, I'm glad I told you. I don't want us to have any secrets from each other. If I had told you about Rory or you had told me you'd known she was here, maybe this could have been avoided." Janet nodded in agreement. "And second of all, it is your business who I sleep with. If you want, from here on out, no one else. Because I haven't slept with anyone else since we broke up and I don't want to."

Eddie waited with a baited breath for her answer and got it when she threw her arms around him. "Yes, that's what I want. And I haven't had sex either, just so you know. I mean I don't count that…" Janet couldn't say it out loud.

Eddie knew she was talking about the rape and tightened his arms around her. "That wasn't sex, Janet. Not even close. That was a horrible person who did an unspeakable thing to you. It wasn't even close to sex." They were silent after that, just holding each other close. Eddie hated to break the moment, but there was one more thing he needed to say. "Ok, there's something else."

Janet laughed. "I don't know how much more I can take, but lay it on me."

"I went to dinner with Rory after we broke up. She wanted to go as friends to catch up and so did I. But I had a great time, and I wanted to forget about you and that guy at the coffee shop and Rory was there. I figured that since you had slept with Rooster because you thought that Rory and I had slept together then I might as well go ahead and do it. But she turned me down. She said that she liked you and didn't want to hurt you so she left. That's when I went to Sullys and got drunk. And I didn't almost sleep with that girl because Rory had rejected me. I didn't even want to sleep with either of them. I just felt like everything was out of my control and I wanted to take it back. Truthfully the only woman I wanted to sleep with was you; I still feel that way."

Janet pulled away but she wasn't angry. "I understand. That's why I slept with Rooster. Yes, I was hurt and angry but mainly I just wanted to take control of a situation that had spun out of control. I am truly sorry. And I really wanted to talk to you after I saw you kiss her but I was afraid. I was afraid that you two would be… you know and I wouldn't have been able to take that. I know that its no excuse for what I did but there it is."

"It's ok. I'm not saying it still doesn't hurt a little when I think about it but I understand it a little more." Eddie ran his hand down her face, grateful for the contact. "I'm willing to move on and finally put this past us."

Janet smiled, happy that they were finally working towards a final reconciliation. "Me too. So, we're ok?" Janet held her breath in anticipation.

"Yeah, we're more than ok." He was overcome with the urge to lean in and kiss her when a thought occurred to him. "Oh, crap!"

Janet was surprised at his outburst and watched him run into the kitchen. "What?"

"We forgot about the ice cream." He grabbed the container, peeled off the seal and opened it. "Oh, man! What we have now, my dear, is a big pile of mint chocolate chip mush."

Janet laughed at his sad expression. She knew how much he loved mint chocolate chip ice cream. "Well, if you still want it you can drink it like a smoothie." She laughed harder as he glared at her. "Or you could just put it in the freezer now. I'm sure it will fine."

"Maybe but it's not the same." Eddie looked forlornly at the ice cream and then put it in the freezer anyway.

"Sorry. Next time we'll save the heavy discussion until after the ice cream is safe." Eddie saw t he smirk on her face and laughed in return. He had missed this; the gentle teasing and easy conversation that was flowing a little easier now. Life was beginning to look up for Eddie Latekka.

* * *

Life for Hannah Daniels however was looking worse and worse. For a decade she had imagined what it would be like for Nick to be Sam's dad, but nothing had prepared her for the reality. She hated knowing that Sam was going to be hurt by this he needed to be told. She held back the tears that threatened to fall, knowing she had to be strong.

The doorbell rang and she knew that Nick was there. She had told Gavin the day before and he had taken it surprisingly well. He hadn't even asked her to pay back all the child support. He simply thanked her for allowing her to be a part of an amazing boy's life and asked if he could still see Sam. Hannah had readily agreed and that was it. Now was the hard part though; today was the day that she and Nick told Sam.

Hannah went to the door and let Nick in, neither saying a word. Sam walked in a few seconds behind him. Hannah panicked briefly because she and Nick had not discussed what they were going to say but Nick smiled reassuringly and Hannah breathed again. "Sam, sweetie, Nick and I need to talk to you about something."

Sam sat on the couch, Hannah on one side of him and Nick on the other. He knew something was big was about to happen but he had no idea what. His question was answered, however, with the next thing out of his mom's mouth, and his world was changed forever.

Hannah had no idea how to ease her son into this news so she just went for it. "Sam, honey, Gavin isn't your real father, Nick is." Sam didn't say anything, so she continued, "When I was pregnant with you I didn't know who the father was. I knew it was one of two possibilities, but neither seemed like a great option. Nick had left and the other, well, he wasn't ready to be a dad. I was scared, so your grandma convinced me to tell Gavin that he was the dad. I know that doesn't excuse what I did and I'm so sorry for lying to you." Sam still hadn't responded in any way, and Hannah was getting worried. "Sam, please say something."

Sam looked up at Nick and asked, "Did you know?"

Nick looked at Hannah for support and she nodded. "No. Your mom didn't tell me."

Sam nodded, still trying to take everything in. "Yeah, I think I knew. Not that Nick was my dad, but that Gavin wasn't. He doesn't really look like me and no one in his family has a peanut allergy." At his mom's shocked look, he continued, "I looked it up on the internet. Most nut allergies are genetic."

"Sam I can't apologize to you enough. I kept you away from Nick because I was angry and scared. It was selfish and you're the one that paid the price."

Nick saw that Hannah was about to cry and stepped in. "Sam, your mom was just trying to protect you. She wanted you to be loved and safe and she didn't know what else to do."

Sam looked at Nick intently. "Aren't you mad that you lost out on the chance to be around me?" Nick was torn. No matter what he said, his answer was going to hurt one of them, so he decided to just tell the truth. "Yeah, Sam, I am, well, I was. See, you're a great kid and it hurts to know I missed out on your life so far. I missed your first steps, first words, first day of school. Everything. I would give anything to have that time back, but nothing will give it back. And you know, you're so amazing because of your mom. She raised you with love and has been here for you through everything. She had you as a scared teenager and that had to be tough, but she's always loved you. I'm not mad anymore because I can't change the past, and I get to be around you now."

Sam was silent for a few minutes. Neither Hannah nor Nick said anything, knowing they had to let him work through this on his own. Finally Sam looked up at Hannah. "Mom, I don't know what to say. You were going to keep this from me forever, weren't you?" No waiting for an answer, he went on. "I heard you talking with Ray about needing a DNA test from my dad to go ahead with the adoption. If you hadn't needed one, then you never would have told anyone. How could you do that?"

Hannah had never seen her little boy look so sad. He didn't even look mad, although she suspected that would come later; he just looked defeated. She opened her mouth to tell him… anything, but he got up off of the couch and went upstairs. She stared after him and then put her head in her hands, sobs wracking her body. Nick immediately scooted over and put his arm around her. "He hates me Nick; he's never going to forgive me."

"No Hannah, he's just overwhelmed. You're his mom, he'll always love you. Just give him time." She buried her face in his chest and cried harder. They stayed that way for awhile and it was how Ray found them.

Ray walked in the door and saw Nick with his arms around Hannah and exploded. "What the hell's going on here?!"

Hannah jumped, wiping the tears out of her eyes. "Ray, calm down and sit down. We need to talk." She turned to Nick. "Can you leave us alone for a little bit? You can go up and talk to Sam. He's not mad at you and I don't want him to be alone." Nick didn't want to leave her alone with a furious Big Cat, but nodded anyway. He started upstairs to talk to his son. He paused; 'his son'. Yeah, he could get used to saying that.

TBC…


End file.
